Cool Patrol

Ninja Sex Party

About Cool Patrol

"Cool Patrol" is a song by American musical comedy duo Ninja Sex Party. It was released as a single along with a music video on October 18, 2016, and is the first single from their sixth studio album, released on August 17, 2018. Written by band members Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht, the song tells the story of Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian, who, calling themselves the "Cool Patrol", help a bullied high-schooler become tougher and cooler. It is the band's first release with producer Jim Roach, and their first original song to feature Tupper Ware Remix Party as backup band. The music video features YouTube personality Jacksepticeye as the bullied kid; he also provides minor spoken parts in the song. The song reached #1 on the iTunes Comedy chart. 


 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer

Yo Ninja Brian
You see that high schooler over there getting pushed around? 
This looks like a job for the Cool Patrol!

Hey kid! (Yo!) 
You're getting picked on in school
The other boys! (Huh!)! 
They say you just ain't cool
Well that's bullshit! (Yeah!!) 
We're gonna teach you the rules
Those motherfuckers ain't gonna bother you no more

We are the bad boys (oh!) 
from the tough side of town
We are the cool patrol (woo!) 
we'll turn your life around
Those bullies (aw shit) 
their ass is done for now
We're gonna show you how! 
So fuckin' listen y'all! First

You put your hands in the air
And you jump off the ground
And then you take that funky butt and you shake it all around
And lightly jog in place and then crank it up to a prance
This is the cool patrol dance

Now put your hands in your pockets
And take them right back out
Then spin around in a circle and make an animal sound (moo)
Then glide into the sprinkler like you're gonna water the plants
This is the cool patrol dance


You get all that kid?
that wasn't actually very helpful
That was like an instructional dance
Hell yeah!

Motherfuckin' bullies better watch their ass
You're sending all them shits a message 
there's a new king in class
When they see you 
they're gonna freak out and piss their pants
They are your bitches! 
They are your bitches because

You put your hands in the air
And then stick out your rear end
And then you wiggle it real hard 
and you hug your closest friend
And then you wildly remove your clothes and tearaway pants
This is the cool patrol dance

Now rub the peanut butter on you
From your head to your feet
And cover up your nudity with different cheeses and meats
Then slap a camel because this could be your only chance
This is the cool patrol dance

Cool break!

This is cool, 'scuse me
Hey I have an idea!
Let's kick it! Woo!

You put your hands in the air
And grab a bird from the sky
And eat it whole so that you may absorb its power of flight
Now you can also dive bomb fish because your vision's enhanced
This is the cool patrol dance

You're basically a superhero now
So throw some cars
Then rub your magnum thighs together and set fire to mars
Now harness all your sexy fury in a victory stance
This is the cool patrol dance!

Your training is complete
Now go show those fuckers who's boss!
Okay! Hey guys, listen up
You put your hands in the a-
Oh god!
Aw he might, he might actually be dead

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer

Ninja Sex Party

Ninja Sex Party (often abbreviated as NSP) is an American musical comedy duo consisting of singer Dan Avidan and keyboardist Brian Wecht. They formed in 2009 in New York City and are currently based in Los Angeles. They are also known as two thirds of the video game-based musical trio Starbomb, together with frequent collaborator Arin Hanson. Avidan joined Hanson's YouTube Let's Play webseries Game Grumps as co-host in 2013; Wecht also joined the show in 2015. The work of Ninja Sex Party typically consists of rock or synthpop-oriented humorous songs, frequently on the topics of sex, seduction, love or fantasy, with Avidan and Wecht respectively portraying the characters of Danny Sexbang, an idiotic, exuberant and strangely-dressed hypersexual Jewish man, and… more »

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Lyrics © Songtrust Ave

Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind

10 facts about this song

Band Background
"Cool Patrol" is a song performed by the American comedy duo Ninja Sex Party. The group’s members are Dan Avidan and Brian Wecht, who are also known for their internet personalities on the popular YouTube channel "Game Grumps."
Album Details
"Cool Patrol" is the title track and the second single released from their sixth album. The album, also named "Cool Patrol," was released on August 17, 2018.
Musical Style
The song is known for its comedic lyrical content and colorful music video. Their music in general is often a blend of comedy, synthpop, and rock genres.
In "Cool Patrol," apart from the regular duo, TWRP (Tupper Ware Remix Party), a Canadian synthwave group, also actively participated. TWRP has been the backing band for Ninja Sex Party since 2015.
Chart Success
The "Cool Patrol" album debuted at number 1 on the Billboard Comedy Albums chart, and it also reached number 2 on the Billboard Independent Albums chart, showing the popularity of the song within the album.
Music Video
The music video for "Cool Patrol" has more than 23 million views on YouTube (as of 2022) and features the duo performing a fictitious "dance" that's supposed to intimidate bullies.
The album "Cool Patrol" won the 2019 Shorty Award for Best in Comedy.
Like many Ninja Sex Party songs, "Cool Patrol" features tongue-in-cheek humor. The song and its video depict humorous and absurd tactics for dealing with bullies.
Unique Approach
The combination of their comedic theme, catchy tunes, and eccentric performances make their songs like "Cool Patrol" stand out, earning them a strong fan base.
Creative Freedom
The song "Cool Patrol," like many of their works, exemplifies the duo's commitment to independent music production, allowing them ultimate creative freedom and control.

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