(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs
Michelle Pfeiffer
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Oh my God, how times have changed This girl's either blind Or completely deranged Ah, but time seemed to halt When I was, "Miss Baltimore Crabs" Childhood dreams for me were cracked When that damn Shirley Temple Stole my frickin' act But the crown's in the vault From when I won, "Miss Baltimore Crabs" Those poor runner-ups Might still hold some grudges They padded their cups, but I screwed the judges Those broads thought they'd win If a plate they would spin in their dance Not a chance 'Cause I hit the stage Batons ablaze While belting high C's And preparing souffles But that triple somersault Was how I clinched, "Miss Baltimore Crabs" Proceed Are you scared we're on live? No, I'm sure I can cope Well, this show isn't broadcast in Cinemascope I never drank one chocolate malt No, no desserts for "Miss Baltimore Crabs" How many sweaters do you own? Well, I'm sure I've got plenty Let's see, I have three, five Wait, I have twenty I would say "Oy Gevalt" If I wasn't "Miss Baltimore Crabs" A tycoon I wed So cuddly and funny The old fart dropped dead But left tons of money So I bought this station So all of the nation Could see Baby amber and me Do you dance like you dress? Amber, there's no need to be cruel Would you swim in an integrated pool? I sure would, I'm all for integration, It's the new frontier Not in Baltimore it isn't And may I be frank First impressions can be tough And when I saw you, I knew it If your size weren't enough Your last answer just blew it And so, my dear, so short and stout You'll never be in So we're kicking you out You can't get past me kid But it isn't your fault It's hard to get rid of "Miss Baltimore Crabs You may go Um, thank you? Gee Tracy, that went well (Lil' Inez runs on) Hello, ma'am, may I please Audition? No, but you can bow and exalt 'Cause I was "Miss Baltimore Crabs, crabs, crabs
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Written by: Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman, Scott Michael Wittman
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/23575655/Michelle+Pfeiffer/%28The+Legend+Of%29+Miss+Baltimore+Crabs>.
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