Journal II
Michael Ricciardi
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Still living in my head At least I know I’m not dead Still chasing all these dreams But now I face reality I’m still blocking the way Walls are coming down slowly Stopped my writing but not thinking It’s time to grab the pen and start journaling Yeah I guess I really was a record With my head left spinnin’ ‘round Still living inside my head But not letting it get me down Tried my hardest to protect her But she still left 'Fore I realized it was me Who craved a safety net Like dreams that I started but I never finished In all the good I had a way of finding every blemish Cause in a year nothing was the same Yeah in a year nothing really had changed Cause I’m still insecure in almost everything But I’m working through it with a little bit of therapy I quit my job and I started coaching Teaching all these kids about God But they're the ones who gave me meaning Got depressed and fell really hard Didn’t think I’d ever be able to fully restart Took thirteen years but I got inked Yeah just look at my arm and see the memory scars Put a ring on her finger and got engaged But it never ended up happening that way I was just left to fall apart Vowing to never again trust my heart I guess that’s the part where it gets hard Cause I’m holding onto anger in the dark Staring at my ceiling thinking about what could’ve been Instead of the places I’ve been going Still living in my head At least I know I’m not dead Still chasing all these dreams But now I face reality I’m still blocking the way Walls are coming down slowly Stopped my writing but not thinking It’s time to grab the pen and start journaling Yeah Instead of wallowing inside my self-pity I took a pen and I wrote an album titled Burning I took the heartbreak and I turned it into somethin’ Instead of watching my entire future be crumpled I wish I could tell myself back then that “This is not a life you’ve been living, This is just a lie that you’ve been given, They don’t care they’re just manipulatin'.” But if I did that would I ruin the growth? Would I still appreciate what matters most? Or would I still be sitting right on the coast Watching from the beach The sandcastles washed out to sea Waiting on a love that will never be? Cause I know that she really didn’t love me But looking back I can see the changing To who I was back then To who I am here standing Cause who I was then was weak Couldn’t get any sleep Unable to break free Trapped by anxiety Insecure ‘bout all of me Panicking daily Right eye twitching My words stuttering Now I’m ‘bout to graduate Catching up on some sleep I can finally look past all the fog and see the tress Still dealing with some demons But I’ve been slowly healin’ Living in the moment With the time I’ve been handed It’s only been a year But it’s been a long journey I’m looking up with a smile these days Also got a dope fish and I named him Reggie It’s the little things in life that give the most meaning Still living in my head At least I know I’m not dead Still chasing all these dreams But now I face reality I’m still blocking the way Walls are coming down slowly Here’s a letter to the old me Never forget to keep journaling Yeah
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"Journal II Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 20 Sep. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/4968175/Michael+Ricciardi/Journal+II>.
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