Keeping Tabs

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T Shan

2:52

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Wonder what you’re up to
It’s been long enough
Unblock your number, what’s the harm?
You can’t fool me
Try to slip open the door
For her, 'cause them bad habits feel
They feel
I’ve been
Looking over your shoulder
Creep on your social
A couple profiles, I hope you don’t notice
See a mention of your loneliness and
Know it isn’t, just me missing
Our coalition, coexistence, even though it was the right decision
See you mentioning that you're on Tinder, I’m feeling sideswiped
See you missing us singing in the rain that comes to my eyes
Whether I see you’re happy or not, these 3 months been passing us by
I emailed you, didn’t feel like we haven’t chat in a while
But like trying to rekindle ashes and I can’t recall how we used to speak
I remember we used to speak like it was all between you and me
And I’d go read our messages, just to rediscover the cadence
But reading from the bottom up, it’s just the breakup then the breaking
And you pleading me to have a little more patience
Take some baby steps, and baby we’re gonna make it
When I couldn’t stand it 'til day end
Spent our vacation with the plans we made
When my love hadn’t faded from your beratement
Lying in bed and to your face like I didn't really hate you
(That trip) I don’t think I held your hand once, I don’t think I called you baby ever
The only exception being sex
And if that’s all that’s left then we probably should’ve got the message
And we did
You purged me from your records
But you know where to find me, and I'll still read your sermons
Tried to remember your voice a couple weeks back, already had trouble
Looked through your Insta seeking vids of you speaking, I’ve been erased
Like we weren’t even ever a couple
Fucking crazy bitch, the rage always threatens to bubble when I reminisce
All that’s left there is my photo credit, I’m so pathetic
Trying to see me in your history books 'cause all I fear is being forgotten
By the one that gave me Stockholm
Defending you to my friends, like I gave you reason for leaving me hollow
And I didn’t even, tell them everything
Cause I didn't want them to see you as the enemy, as you'd begun to see them
Holding it all inside me while you’re holed inside the home alone
An ocean away in the homeland, I had come to see then
Neither of us were in a good place, you made sure I felt your pain
Stalking your photos, slowly getting filled with rage
But mostly comfort at your face
It’s times like these it feels like this is all a break
You just feel right
Close the tab, but I’ll be back in seven days
You asked to call
I need to hear your voice
But our calls always showed us, how far apart we were

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