Harvey Encylopedia
Chump
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Harvey col' suitin' in his finest plaid sport coat Knockin' on the door and col' clearin' his skinny throat A bag he's totin' from his shoulder chock fulla A books He's passing folks on the street giving him strange looks Encyclopedia salesman of the month he's been for 3 years Big fat brown tie and straight sticking out ears Clip fulla bills and a tent sized brief case You try to run away but the boy's in your face He's knockin' on the door with his ten foot wide grin And in a raspy voice he says, "please may I come in?" Some people say no but the majority say yes And he goes through his sales pitch, buy now, pay less But If you say no then you'd better have a gat Cuz you just told him no and he don't wanna hear that He got a perfect sales record, and you're gonna see why If you refuse him, then you're surely gonna die Throw the bolt on the door and shut the window cuz Harvey's comin' to your house with encyclopedias One day he cruises over to a quiet sub urban street People who live there are the nicest you'll ever meet Harvey goes up to the first house and he knocks on the door But when the sucka wouldn't buy, yo, Harvey dropped him to the floor At the next house some old fool had just woken from a nap He tried to shut the door so Harvey had to bust a cap At the next house down the row Harvey had to empty his gun And after that he left and said I think today my work is done He comes back in the morning and col' parks his car Straighten his bow tie and nibbles a power bar Walks to the house he left off at yesterday But the woman who lives there is waiting in the driveway She baked him some cookies and she ordered a whole set The the next guy on the block ordered all the he could get Every offer Harvey made, the people quickly took By 9 am he'd sold every last book Throw the bolt on the door and shut the window cuz Harvey's comin' to your house with encyclopedias First you see him walkin', then you hear him knockin', you know his gun is cockin' And the he greets you with a smile No offers you're rejectin', your money he's collectin', the mirror he's inspectin' Yo Harvey's got the mad style
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