Harvey Encylopedia

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Harvey col' suitin' in his finest plaid sport coat
Knockin' on the door and col' clearin' his skinny throat
A bag he's totin' from his shoulder chock fulla A books
He's passing folks on the street giving him strange looks
Encyclopedia salesman of the month he's been for 3 years
Big fat brown tie and straight sticking out ears
Clip fulla bills and a tent sized brief case
You try to run away but the boy's in your face
He's knockin' on the door with his ten foot wide grin
And in a raspy voice he says, "please may I come in?"
Some people say no but the majority say yes
And he goes through his sales pitch, buy now, pay less
But If you say no then you'd better have a gat
Cuz you just told him no and he don't wanna hear that
He got a perfect sales record, and you're gonna see why
If you refuse him, then you're surely gonna die

Throw the bolt on the door and shut the window cuz
Harvey's comin' to your house with encyclopedias

One day he cruises over to a quiet sub urban street
People who live there are the nicest you'll ever meet
Harvey goes up to the first house and he knocks on the door
But when the sucka wouldn't buy, yo, Harvey dropped him to the floor
At the next house some old fool had just woken from a nap
He tried to shut the door so Harvey had to bust a cap
At the next house down the row Harvey had to empty his gun
And after that he left and said I think today my work is done
He comes back in the morning and col' parks his car
Straighten his bow tie and nibbles a power bar
Walks to the house he left off at yesterday
But the woman who lives there is waiting in the driveway
She baked him some cookies and she ordered a whole set 
The the next guy on the block ordered all the he could get
Every offer Harvey made, the people quickly took
By 9 am he'd sold every last book

Throw the bolt on the door and shut the window cuz
Harvey's comin' to your house with encyclopedias

First you see him walkin', then you hear him knockin', you know his gun is cockin'
And the he greets you with a smile
No offers you're rejectin', your money he's collectin', the mirror he's inspectin'
Yo Harvey's got the mad style

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