Brand Loyal

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Sneer

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I can't remember the last time I bought a different brand of tin foil
Got a cordless vacuum with the points I earned from my credit card rewards program
I won't give out my email and zip code willy-nilly
But I'll purchase again and again and again and again from a company that I believe in
I'm loyal, I'm brand loyal
I stick to what I know from detergent to olive oil, see
I'm loyal
Oh, so loyal
Don't try me with some new brand 'cause frankly I'll ignore you
At the time I bought my Blundstones I thought they were too expensive but a decade later I'm like good investment
Puma socks on my feet that I buy in bulk at Costco
While I'm there I make sure to grab a case of Kirkland golf balls
Warby Parker on my mother fuckin' face
Metamucil coursing through my fuckin' veins
Every day I wash my hair with Tresemmé, towel off, then trim my beard and balls with Phillips razor blades
Unless it's an Esso don't fill my Toyota
Only make a parfait with Activia yogurt
If I'm thirsty at your barbeque a Heineken to quench it
Throw my hot dog at your nephew if the mustard isn't French's
I can't remember the last time I bought a different brand of tin foil
Got a cordless vacuum with the points I earned from my credit card rewards program
I won't give out my email and zip code willy-nilly
But I'll purchase again and again and again and again from a company that I believe in
I'm loyal, I'm brand loyal
Exclusively wore Huggies back when I was in a stroller
I'm loyal
Oh, so loyal
Don't try me with some new brand 'cause frankly I'll ignore you
If it ain't broke don't fix it
If it ain't Coke don't drink it
I do my due diligence as a consumer I'll research your brand on my Apple computer I won't place an order before I make sure corporations are socially responsible
Like, what are your values?
And what's your purpose?
Are your sustainable efforts help saving a helpless porpoise?
Do you seriously care about porpoises or are you just saving these porpoises to get the credit?
And I gotta know if your founder is antisemitic
So, my toque is Roots
Sunscreen Neutrogena
Travel mug Contigo
Shoehorn IKEA
Durex is effective
Girlfriend has never been pregnant
I have peace of mind during our weekly sex but when I'm in the doghouse make love in Kleenex
I can't remember the last time I bought a different brand of tin foil
Got a cordless vacuum with the points I earned from my credit card rewards program
I won't give out my email and zip code willy-nilly
But I'll purchase again and again and again and again from a company that I believe in
I'm loyal, I'm brand loyal
Marinate in Ziploc bags to ensure chicken breasts don't spoil
I'm loyal
Oh, so loyal
Don't try me with some new brand 'cause frankly I'll ignore you

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