Mess

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Tristen F

4:47

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Last track
I was asking for a savior
Look back at the ones asking for a change or
Loving a cracked version of me for a frame
Pouring last chances before they finally couldn't afford it
Ashamed for the ways I acted out
Ways I lashed out
Ways I stacked doubts
Days I attacked now
These feelings keep resealing while I'm
Reaching ceilings pleading deeply I'll climb
Peaks seeming feasible leaching crying why?
Theses sink in me
Tried wiring to a porn addiction for seven years at least
To a torn affliction for eleven years at ease when
Searching forced affection for unleveled fears
That decrease building any sense of peace
Healing requires bleeding
Rewiring mentally
Desiring amity
Slamming these
Gnashing teeth
Laugh at me
Stacking fees
That cost me sanity
Sinning sucked sick soullessness to my mind's home
Pinning up this hopelessness yo
Finishing the twisted hold its had on me
Wishing for visions
Fasting, reading scriptures
Gasping feeling pressure
Vanish see ya never
That lusting severed love
Sad wanting clearer looks at my future
Latch my clueless habits
I'm proving that tied loose ends can actually set you free
That contractually lessening fees happens when you let in peace
Because a lack of it costs
These thoughts act softly
But you gotta not nod off cause spawns of satan are waiting for the day you're wading
Don't mistake not straining for God's placement
Enemy stops chasing when you're complacent
Now you gotta pray to be raised from that wasted space
Power came for my fate hiding in lusting sheets
Devour faith
Was a chase for the sinful beast
Ripped his feet but it's bloody
My God this is a mess

Mess mess mess mess
Yeah yeah
Try not to be such a wreck
But I'm just a mess mess mess mess mess
Try to be perfect
But I'm nothing but just a mess mess mess mess mess mess
Yeah, just a mess

Been nothing but a mess why can't I get this stress off my chest?
Donned the vest of feeling less
I'm a sinner God's given endless chances to
Thought I knew the way out from the bottom
But now I'm seeing that I've dug this hole myself
Even when I call Him closer
It's me that's gotta reach higher hope is fading
Soul is draining
So straining to hold things in
I'm nose-diving
Lies choking
Pride toting
But I gotta find a way to let that go
That's a weight that I was never meant to hold
That's a pain that I was never meant to mold into
That's a thinking process that'll steal your goals
I was getting narcissistic
Hardly listened
Partly wishing
For a quick death
I'm in debt to the messes I've created
These wages really are death
People couldn't stay
But I'd never blame cause I couldn't change
Became so mentally vacant
Physically shaken
Sinning's taking
Give in I'm taken
Driven but braking
Hid in some mistakes
Pinning a stake to this breaking heart
Need it displayed so I can reframe the way I think
You can hate me but I'm grateful for this
It's made me better
Learned to never take a day for granted and that hurting changes to purpose when you force the brain to reshape
Snap them neurons back in place that were once broken from some traumas
Cut the losses I've settled the decisions in mind
This is all up to His divine power now
Only He could clean me up and put me back together
Life changed when I said that I'm no longer a mess  
Hate how it took three suicide attempts
Two clueless sinners and one bad night to finally get here
But the vision is clear
The promise is near
The lost kid is revealed
I just had to be a mess to see what it means to be clean
Yeah since March 11th I've been repenting
Can't You see?
Since March 11th I've been repenting
Can't You see?

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer