Mess

Last track I was asking for a savior Look back at the ones asking for a change or Loving a cracked version of me for a frame Pouring last chances before they finally couldn't afford it Ashamed for the ways I acted out Ways I lashed out Ways I stacked doubts Days I attacked now These feelings keep resealing while I'm Reaching ceilings pleading deeply I'll climb Peaks seeming feasible leaching crying why? Theses sink in me Tried wiring to a porn addiction for seven years at least To a torn affliction for eleven years at ease when Searching forced affection for unleveled fears That decrease building any sense of peace Healing requires bleeding Rewiring mentally Desiring amity Slamming these Gnashing teeth Laugh at me Stacking fees That cost me sanity Sinning sucked sick soullessness to my mind's home Pinning up this hopelessness yo Finishing the twisted hold its had on me Wishing for visions Fasting, reading scriptures Gasping feeling pressure Vanish see ya never That lusting severed love Sad wanting clearer looks at my future Latch my clueless habits I'm proving that tied loose ends can actually set you free That contractually lessening fees happens when you let in peace Because a lack of it costs These thoughts act softly But you gotta not nod off cause spawns of satan are waiting for the day you're wading Don't mistake not straining for God's placement Enemy stops chasing when you're complacent Now you gotta pray to be raised from that wasted space Power came for my fate hiding in lusting sheets Devour faith Was a chase for the sinful beast Ripped his feet but it's bloody My God this is a mess Mess mess mess mess Yeah yeah Try not to be such a wreck But I'm just a mess mess mess mess mess Try to be perfect But I'm nothing but just a mess mess mess mess mess mess Yeah, just a mess Been nothing but a mess why can't I get this stress off my chest? Donned the vest of feeling less I'm a sinner God's given endless chances to Thought I knew the way out from the bottom But now I'm seeing that I've dug this hole myself Even when I call Him closer It's me that's gotta reach higher hope is fading Soul is draining So straining to hold things in I'm nose-diving Lies choking Pride toting But I gotta find a way to let that go That's a weight that I was never meant to hold That's a pain that I was never meant to mold into That's a thinking process that'll steal your goals I was getting narcissistic Hardly listened Partly wishing For a quick death I'm in debt to the messes I've created These wages really are death People couldn't stay But I'd never blame cause I couldn't change Became so mentally vacant Physically shaken Sinning's taking Give in I'm taken Driven but braking Hid in some mistakes Pinning a stake to this breaking heart Need it displayed so I can reframe the way I think You can hate me but I'm grateful for this It's made me better Learned to never take a day for granted and that hurting changes to purpose when you force the brain to reshape Snap them neurons back in place that were once broken from some traumas Cut the losses I've settled the decisions in mind This is all up to His divine power now Only He could clean me up and put me back together Life changed when I said that I'm no longer a mess Hate how it took three suicide attempts Two clueless sinners and one bad night to finally get here But the vision is clear The promise is near The lost kid is revealed I just had to be a mess to see what it means to be clean Yeah since March 11th I've been repenting Can't You see? Since March 11th I've been repenting Can't You see?