therapy

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Reece Hughes

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This fucking beat, this fucking pen, this fucking ink
Is all, it's all my fucking therapy
Yeah

As I sit back and reminisce on my life
I often wonder what things would be like
If I never started rapping, if I never met Jackson
What if I ain't meet Uylus on PlayStation?
What the f*ck would be happening?
Like, what if I never dropped Back to Back
Or made any track, back to back?
Volume 1 to Volume 2, what if I left 'em on the rack?
Cause I thought that shit was whack
What the f*ck would I be doing then?
But now I'm never looking back, cause
All the drugs and shit, use to cope with the pain
I hate being outside, I can't stand the rain
All this fake gangster shit, that you try to maintain
Bout as fake as my smile on a day to day, yeah
But, I'll drop the album, then I disappear
Never thought that I would be here
I'm done putting faith in my fears
Don't look back never check the rear
Look at the man in the mirror
Changed a lot from when I was 10
I've wanted this since I was a kid
Since I was rapping in the closet with my niggas
It's crazy to look at what we did
And how far we done came
Momma taught me how to never be lame
So I branched out and then I carved my own lane
With all this self deprecation there's no time for meditation
I got an ego that's as bout as thin as my patience
I'm forever underrated, over appreciated
Yet I still haven't made it
Everything I've ever done they try to downplay it
All alone on my own journey, but still spreading positivity
I haven't realized I'm successful in my own way
But, maybe one day I'll figure it out
Until then, let me see what all this shit is about
I'm out, yo

I used to think I'd have it all figured out by now
Problems be solved, throw em all behind the back by now
Me and my niggas would be living good
I could tell em how I'm doing everything that I said I would
But I'm still stuck in my old ways, my old home
People call me and get the old tone,
Cause I done put down my phone, not answering it, please leave me alone
Unless you my mom, my girl, or one of the people I'm relying on
They all got my back, but that's about it
I'm not gonna come on this track and try to start shit
But how you tell someone you'll always have their back, but you call it quits?
I think that's just ridiculous, let's get back to it
Cause people don't feel what you say unless it's truly real
But I still have to hide the way I truly feel
I can't let no one see all this pain that I feel inside
I haven't truly been happy since the day my grandmother died
That was 2020, do the math it's been 3 years
They say time heals all, why am I still crying these fucking tears?
Tryna do all of this shit without my grandmother here
All this stress and shit from work got me losing sleep
My friends saying I need therapy
All the shit I'm saying and doing got em scared of me
Cause I text em when I got suicide on my mind
And I guess they scared cause they know I could do it anytime
So many ways I get lost in my mind
But I keep you close so that shit is easier to find
I'm either all alone or off the grid I can't even decide

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