Our Disease

Victoria ClarkVictoria Clark 

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Victoria Clark

Victoria Clark (born October 10, 1959) is an American actress, musical theatre singer and director. Clark has performed in numerous Broadway musicals and in other theatre, film and television works. Her soprano voice can also be heard on innumerable cast albums and several animated films. In 2008, she released her first solo album titled Fifteen Seconds of Grace. In 2005, she won a Tony Award for Best Leading Actress in a Musical for her role in The Light in the Piazza. She also won the Drama Desk Award, Outer Critics Circle Award, and the Joseph Jefferson Award for her performances in the same show. more »

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Our disease, our disease
Our disease, our disease
Our disease, our disease

Is scurvy, scurvy, scurvy

Scu, scurvy

Which is a lack of vitamin C disease
That occurs when your body gets no citrus
It killed a bunch of old-timey sailors, argh

Complications caused my scurvy may affect

Your teeth

Your skin

Your teeth

Your blood cells

Teeth

And bones

Among others

Scurvy can be difficult to diagnose
Because its symptoms often those of

Other ailments

The most distinctive sign of scurvy is
A really bad case of

Gum disease

Which occurs in many

But not all cases

Of scurvy

Scurvy

Scurvy

Scu

Scurvy

Our disease, our disease
Our disease, our disease
Our disease, our disease

Is fasciolosis
Fasciolosis
Which is a condition caused by an infection
From a parasitic flatworm

It's a microscopic foe

It's a tiny little bug

Found in watercress, my friends

That's a slightly bitter green

Which my father really loved
A watercress fanatic

He ate it by the bushel

Oh, our disease will make your tummy burn like lava

Also, my father had diarrhea

Delia told me all about his diarrhea

They laugh

Daddy was in pain

Agonizing pain

His hiney wasn't well

Itchy and unwell

People need to know
What could be squirming inside their food
So our disease is fasciolosis
Fasciolosis

And now we'll take that A

Our disease, our disease
Our disease, our disease

Is my disease
My disease

Which is an incredibly rare
Genetic disorder
In which several signs of aging
Are manifested at a very early age

Some symptoms may include

Uh-oh

Wrinkled skin, stiff joints, hip dislocation

Wah-wah

Atherosclerosis

This was a-

Molecular degeneration

-terrible idea!

Hypertension

Look at how they're looking at me

Presbycusis

Like I'm a slide, I'm a chart
I'm a freak on display

Cardiac issues

Exhibit A

And general failure to

Well, what about exhibit B?
You wanna know what I see?
Your disease is a bad case of adolescence
Accompanied by anxiety
Peer pressure
Bruised egos
And an over-concern about a science grade
About football games
About who's getting laid
Who's got a zit
Who's doing what
Who gives a shit?!
Your disease is a tough one, that's for sure
Getting older is my affliction
Getting older is your cure

Getting older is your cure
But for me, there is no cure
Few people with my disease
Live longer than sixteen years
And-

I just turned sixteen!

So happy birthday!
My disease!
Oh my, my, my, oh, my disease!
An incredibly rare genetic-

Hotcha!

Disorder!

Pew!

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