Nostalgia / Trauma

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NVR AM

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Face to face
With my childhood
Creating space
Between the bad and good
Seeing now
That cannot be done

Wasting days
In abyssopelagic dreams
Waste away
Into this infinity
Still amazed
I'm here to see the sun

No kind of pep talk can prepare you for when
Your childhood demons come to haunt you again
I guess I thought that it'd be better than this
But now I see this is good as it gets

This will always be my nostalgia
Though it leaves me traumatised
Look at all these moments around you
How did you not realise?
You're making enemies out of my life
Won't you leave that up to me?
'Cuz I'm stepping forward, into the daylight
Channel everything into this dream

I made mistakes
Threw myself into ruts
But I'm not afraid
To say more than ties were cut
I can feel so dazed
But I'm alive and that's enough

These scars that lace my skin
Each battle I didn't win
I was running off emptiness
Not signs of incompetence, no
Felt so out of place
Faced by disgrace
My fall was far from graceful (ooh)

No kind of pep talk could prepare me for when
Soul-searching nights begin to feel like a friend
I guess I thought that it'd be better than this
But nothing could ever be better than this

This will always be my nostalgia
Though it leaves me traumatised
Look at all these moments around you
How did you not realise?
You're making enemies out of my life
Won't you leave that up to me?
'Cuz I'm stepping forward, into the daylight
Channel everything into this dream

(Alright, let's wrap this thing up now shall we)

You've been lost and searching
Now you're back again
Welcome to your purpose
Welcome home, my friend

Turn memories to enemies
Commemorate collisions
I've put these ideologies to rest
To protest and clear my vision

Because who am I to fix myself?
My identity lies in someone else
In this handmade purpose I take a stand
I NVR AM who I think I am

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