Nostalgia / Trauma

Face to face With my childhood Creating space Between the bad and good Seeing now That cannot be done Wasting days In abyssopelagic dreams Waste away Into this infinity Still amazed I'm here to see the sun No kind of pep talk can prepare you for when Your childhood demons come to haunt you again I guess I thought that it'd be better than this But now I see this is good as it gets This will always be my nostalgia Though it leaves me traumatised Look at all these moments around you How did you not realise? You're making enemies out of my life Won't you leave that up to me? 'Cuz I'm stepping forward, into the daylight Channel everything into this dream I made mistakes Threw myself into ruts But I'm not afraid To say more than ties were cut I can feel so dazed But I'm alive and that's enough These scars that lace my skin Each battle I didn't win I was running off emptiness Not signs of incompetence, no Felt so out of place Faced by disgrace My fall was far from graceful (ooh) No kind of pep talk could prepare me for when Soul-searching nights begin to feel like a friend I guess I thought that it'd be better than this But nothing could ever be better than this This will always be my nostalgia Though it leaves me traumatised Look at all these moments around you How did you not realise? You're making enemies out of my life Won't you leave that up to me? 'Cuz I'm stepping forward, into the daylight Channel everything into this dream (Alright, let's wrap this thing up now shall we) You've been lost and searching Now you're back again Welcome to your purpose Welcome home, my friend Turn memories to enemies Commemorate collisions I've put these ideologies to rest To protest and clear my vision Because who am I to fix myself? My identity lies in someone else In this handmade purpose I take a stand I NVR AM who I think I am