Outside My Door

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Josh Jacobs

Joshua Jacobs (born February 11, 1998) is an American football running back for the Las Vegas Raiders of the National Football League (NFL). He played college football at Alabama and was drafted by the Raiders in the first round of the 2019 NFL Draft. more »

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What is normal
What is real and What is not
Looking paranormal
The way I see the things I got
They said I'm immoral
Cause I don't see the world the same
But Once you go beneath the fluff
You realize it's all a game
And my brain be on playin tricks on me
Its got a fix on me, how everything just
Seem delayed, the chemicals just mix in me
That serotonin, dopemine
Epinephrine, cortisol
Go together like a cocktail
Take a sip, your sure to fall
Release endorphins on the daily
And some habits are habitual
That includes the bad
And so I battle bout my rituals
Emotions like a roller coaster
Up and down and go in loops
Twist and turn in all directions
Idk what more to do
Reading books and podcasts
Journaling and therapy
I don't take no meds
But I just might cause shit is scaring me
Days I think of quitting
Got my parents all concerned
So I gotta get a hold of this
Before it takes a turn

Sometimes I don't need no help
Sometimes I can't see myself
Feels like I can't go outside
I'm too afraid leave
It's getting hard to see the light, and I know
I don't think they get my pain
At times I just feel ashamed
This world is a crazy place
That's getting hard for me
It's getting hard to sleep at night, and I know

Stigma
It's more like an enigma
It's something of a paradox if you can
Paint a picture
Its seaming from your trauma
And it's started from a trigger
And it serves you as a sign like a sigma
That they label like a signa
I get by with my charisma
But inside I'm an imposter
Hiding one side from world
Like I'm the phantom of my opera
Family telling me that's life
So when I listen to Sinatra
I reflect on how it changed
From the time I was a toddler
Attached to all my old stories
Hard to try to re write
Adding all the stresses of this generation
Breed fright
Media, mass and social
Ways you can attach are global
Matrix is alive and well
But it can have you going postal
Levels got you feeling crazy
Doctors wanna diagnose you
Dis- order, dis-ease
Dis is how they get to know you
Bi-polar, de-pressed, obsessive
Paranoia
Schitzo, anxious
Wishing it could all be over

Sometimes I don't need no help
Sometimes I can't see myself
Feels like I can't go outside
I'm too afraid leave
It's getting hard to see the light, and I know
I don't think they get my pain
At times I just feel ashamed
This world is a crazy place
That's getting hard for me
It's getting hard to sleep at night, and I know

 The easy, fast & fun way to learn how to sing: 30DaySinger.com