Outside My Door

What is normal What is real and What is not Looking paranormal The way I see the things I got They said I'm immoral Cause I don't see the world the same But Once you go beneath the fluff You realize it's all a game And my brain be on playin tricks on me Its got a fix on me, how everything just Seem delayed, the chemicals just mix in me That serotonin, dopemine Epinephrine, cortisol Go together like a cocktail Take a sip, your sure to fall Release endorphins on the daily And some habits are habitual That includes the bad And so I battle bout my rituals Emotions like a roller coaster Up and down and go in loops Twist and turn in all directions Idk what more to do Reading books and podcasts Journaling and therapy I don't take no meds But I just might cause shit is scaring me Days I think of quitting Got my parents all concerned So I gotta get a hold of this Before it takes a turn Sometimes I don't need no help Sometimes I can't see myself Feels like I can't go outside I'm too afraid leave It's getting hard to see the light, and I know I don't think they get my pain At times I just feel ashamed This world is a crazy place That's getting hard for me It's getting hard to sleep at night, and I know Stigma It's more like an enigma It's something of a paradox if you can Paint a picture Its seaming from your trauma And it's started from a trigger And it serves you as a sign like a sigma That they label like a signa I get by with my charisma But inside I'm an imposter Hiding one side from world Like I'm the phantom of my opera Family telling me that's life So when I listen to Sinatra I reflect on how it changed From the time I was a toddler Attached to all my old stories Hard to try to re write Adding all the stresses of this generation Breed fright Media, mass and social Ways you can attach are global Matrix is alive and well But it can have you going postal Levels got you feeling crazy Doctors wanna diagnose you Dis- order, dis-ease Dis is how they get to know you Bi-polar, de-pressed, obsessive Paranoia Schitzo, anxious Wishing it could all be over Sometimes I don't need no help Sometimes I can't see myself Feels like I can't go outside I'm too afraid leave It's getting hard to see the light, and I know I don't think they get my pain At times I just feel ashamed This world is a crazy place That's getting hard for me It's getting hard to sleep at night, and I know