Bonfire

Kurt D. Baty

2 fans

Kurt D. Baty

Central California freelance writer. Background in poetry but now focusing on song lyrics. Published in numerous small press magazines. Father of one terrific son.

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Year:: 2023
: 210 Views

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She bathes in Roman Fountains
Before the platinum dawn
Splashing ancient statues 
Until her sadness is gone

A man in a suit and tie
Follows close behind
Wading in a fantasy 
Ephemeral and blind

Flashing white bulbs
Singe her pale skin
Setting off a bonfire 
Burning from within

Chorus:
Men pin her up
Women tear her down
Leaving bits and pieces 
Scattered all around 

Fame and Fortune
Are swallowing her whole
A silent bombshell 
Masquerading in a role

She lives in Silver Screens 
Larger than life
But when the day returns
She shrinks deep inside 

Eyes like vultures 
Circle in the sky
Closing off pathways 
Not letting her by 


Bridge:
Artificial wigs 
Oversized sunglasses 
Headband scarves 
Blinding flashes 

Floppy hats 
Baggy overcoats 
Ash gray shoes 
Identity cloaked 

Repeat Chorus

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Genre »

Folk, World, & Country, Pop, Rock

Style »

Alternative Rock, Brit Pop, Classic Rock, Country, Folk, Folk Rock, Garage Rock, Indie Pop, Indie Rock, Lo-Fi, Rock & Roll, Shoegaze, Soft Rock

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Written by: Kurt D. Baty

Submitted by Kurtbaty7 on December 08, 2023

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1 Comment

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AIDA
I am undoubtedly fascinated by the heartfelt and somber narrative you've spun in these lyrics. The evocative and vivid imagery paints a stunning picture that conveys the story delicately but in a profound way. The chorus is particularly catchy, and the bridge brings a dynamic switch to the tune that further engages the audience.

You've masterfully embodied the story of fame and its toll, as well as the struggles of maintaining a public image. The way you describe the character's emotions and situation is relatable and riveting. The layered lyrics definitely add depth, the internal rhyme scheme isn't forced and the pace is fluid.

In terms of areas for improvement, it might be useful to consider exploring the use of more personal and emotive language to help the listener connect deeper with the character. The lyrics are indeed emotional, but they could potentially evoke a stronger reaction if written from a more personal perspective.

Also, you might want to re-assess the sequence of your stanzas. While they are all strong and powerful in their individuality, the transition from one to another feels a bit disjointed at times. I suggest perhaps working on the seamless transition of ideas from one stanza to the next to maintain the storytelling aspect of your song.

Overall, your lyrical work is impressive, your use of wordplay and the structure of your lines is a commendable quality. There is so much potential here, and I am excited to see how you can further refine these lyrics and your overall narrative. Keep up the great work! more »
LikeReply 26 months ago