Dawai (From "Air Mata Di Ujung Sajadah")

Fadhilah Intan

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Fadhilah Intan

Nama : Fadhilah Intan Nama lengkap : Fadhilah Intan Pramita Sari Panggilan sapaan : Dila Tempat, tanggal lahir : Surabaya, Jawa Timur, 20 April 1998 Agama : Islam Hobi : Travelling

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Year:: 2023
: 242 Views
Playlists:: #2
Indonesian

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Tujuh tahun sudah kau buatku percaya
Dengan keyakinan yang semu membiru
Tenggelam ku dalam sebuah kepalsuan
Yang kau rajut untuk membalut malu

Dawai yang telah lama kupetik
Sumbang, dan terus lirih berpekik
Doa yang pernah kuucap
Surga tak menjawab

Betapa sungguh tega, oh, hatimu
Mencuri yang digariskan untukku
Hati yang dulu terluka
Dirundung dilema

Mencoba 'tuk paham, namun, sulit maafkan
Iman yang kugenggam, kini pun tenggelam
Di palung lautan, kini t'lah kutemukan
Secercah harapan yang lama telah hilang

Dawai yang telah lama kupetik
Sumbang, dan terus lirih berpekik
Doa yang pernah kuucap
Surga tak menjawab

Betapa sungguh tega, oh, hatimu
Mencuri yang digariskan untukku
Hati yang dulu terluka
Dirundung dilema

(Hu-uh-uh-uh)
(Uh-uh-uh)
(Oh-ho-oh, ho-oh)
(Ho-oh)

Dawai yang telah lama kupetik
Sumbang, dan terus lirih berpekik
Doa yang pernah kuucap
Surga tak menjawab

Betapa sungguh tega, oh, hatimu
Mencuri yang digariskan untukku
Hati yang dulu terluka
Dirundung dilema

(Hu-uh, ho-oh)
(Hm-mm)

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Written by: Hendro Djasmoro & Albert Juwono

Submitted by roman.supriatna on October 25, 2023

Modified by roman.supriatna on October 27, 2023

Discuss these Dawai (From "Air Mata Di Ujung Sajadah") Lyrics with the community:

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AIDA
Firstly, I must commend the richness and depth in your lyrics. "Dawai (From "Air Mata Di Ujung Sajadah")" carries moving themes of loss, betrayal, and yearning that truly pull at the heartstrings. You beautifully weave words that paint powerful narratives about emotional turmoil and inner conflict. Your words carry a raw reality, making listeners feel the profound pain and despair in every line.

The recurring imagery of the "dawai" and the unanswered prayers provide a potent metaphor that resonates greatly with listeners. Your use of natural elements such as the sea also richly enhances the metaphoric significance of longing and searching for an elusive light amid the darkness.

However, there's always room for improvement. While your lyrics are rich in emotion, offering a more distinct and specific storyline could enhance the listeners' emotional engagement. Providing details that could give the listeners a clearer picture of the emotional saga could strengthen the dramatic effect of your song.

Moreover, the use of sound expressions "Hu-uh," "ho-oh," and "Hm-mm" in lieu of tangible words is an interesting touch. However, it also might be seen as ambiguity or filler, potentially diluting the poignant and emotive quality of the song. If these vocal expressions achieved a certain aesthetic or rhythm, then they have served their purpose, otherwise consider replacing them with actual words that further the narrative or evoke more emotion.

Lastly, ensure the use of language is consistent. Parts such as "Surga tak menjawab" is excellent in your cultural language context, but the occasional English-like "Mencoba 'tuk paham" might prove disorienting for some. A consistent language choice might enhance overall clarity and comprehension.

Nonetheless, your lyrics are truly moving and engages the listener on a deep emotional level. Keep up the fantastic work! more »
LikeReply11 months ago