Xmas Fomo

I usually pick up shifts on Christmas due to boredom and double time Plus people always bring baked goodies I don't mind pity treats, that's fine by me Now i'm newly single and unemployed my calendars open as can be It's as sad as it looks, i'm a lonely jew on Christmas Eve I know what you're thinking, it's just two days How bored can you really be But on Christmas crawls as slow as it did during middle school PE So i'll ignore my screen time limits on my phone and start the doom scrolling It's as sad as it looks, i'm lonely jew on Christmas Eve Having a little bit of Christmas fomo I wanna share a kiss with a hottie in slomo A love that's bigger than the hole in our ozone and like it, it grows I'm slurping wonton soup until the morning My love life and my dignity's what I'm mourning Takes a lot of Manischewitz and a little snow, to cure my Christmas fomo All the other kids in school couldn't wait for Santa to visit their tree My best friend swore she saw a glimpse and promised he'd go down my chimney That didn't make a lick of sense he's never even brought me one present or one treat The only rational explanation is that Santa's gonna murder me As soon as he walks into the kitchen he's gonna spot the brisket knife First he'll fry me alive in the latke oil then There goes my life Why does my imposter syndrome almost always lead to death scenarios Ill chock it out to simply being a lonely jew on Christmas Eve Having a little bit of Christmas fomo I wanna share a kiss with a hottie in slomo A love that's bigger than the hole in our ozone and like it, it grows I'm chomping down chow mien until the morning My love life and my dignity's what I'm mourning Takes a lot of Manischewitz and a little snow To Cure my Christmas fomo Takes a lot of Manischewitz and a little snow To drown out the jingle jingle and the ho ho ho Takes a lot of Manischewitz and a little snow to cure my Christmas fomo