Song parody of
Aardvark
by Trilobite
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In search of something digs a strange creature
With claws that break down clay
This beast did not come to play
Turns to face you, his most prominent feature
Such a surreal display
This beast will darken your day
Jaws wide open they will stand and fight him
I urge you to back away
It would be foolish to stay
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
Prefers a tasty grub, those creepy crawly things
Pop in a way that's just right, oh
He's an Oxford English first, but he never went to school
He's a nosy fucker with a sticky tongue and he's so much cooler than you
Carpe noctem for Cucumis humifructus he does
When he's not digging holes for you to fall into
Here comes the beast, yes, he's coming to eat you
And your family and friends
He can lick around bends
You can run, you can go find your preacher
But your home he will cleanse
Of everyone who attends
There's no stopping this relentless procedure
And his tongue it extends
He eats you by the tens
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
Avoids the driver ant, its bite so very stings
Finds Odontotermes tasty though
The pig of the earth, a splendid beast, Tubulidentata
Your buildings won't protect you, you six legged freaks
Hide your queen, he's coming for your morbidly obese regina
If he can smell you then to him she fucking reeks
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
But he wants her juicy majesty, when the fat lady sings
She won't put up a big fight, no
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them
In search of something digs a strange creature
With claws that break down clay
This beast did not come to play
Turns to face you, his most prominent feature
Such a surreal display
This beast will darken your day
Jaws wide open they will stand and fight him
I urge you to back away
It would be foolish to stay
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
Prefers a tasty grub, those creepy crawly things
Pop in a way that's just right, oh
He's an Oxford English first, but he never went to school
He's a nosy fucker with a sticky tongue and he's so much cooler than you
Carpe noctem for Cucumis humifructus he does
When he's not digging holes for you to fall into
Here comes the beast, yes, he's coming to eat you
And your family and friends
He can lick around bends
You can run, you can go find your preacher
But your home he will cleanse
Of everyone who attends
There's no stopping this relentless procedure
And his tongue it extends
He eats you by the tens
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
Avoids the driver ant, its bite so very stings
Finds Odontotermes tasty though
The pig of the earth, a splendid beast, Tubulidentata
Your buildings won't protect you, you six legged freaks
Hide your queen, he's coming for your morbidly obese regina
If he can smell you then to him she fucking reeks
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them mid flight, no
But he wants her juicy majesty, when the fat lady sings
She won't put up a big fight, no
He wouldn't hurt a fly; he doesn't like their wings
Nor can he catch them
