Sober Thoughts

Oh, nah-nah-nah-nah Nah-nah, ye-yeah Disciplinin' my habits, went distant on my attachments I had to turn my presence to absence Stuck in a cage, questionin' the hours and days Depressional phase, my tunnel vision startin' to fade I started to marry my thoughts, already engaged Not knowing my next move had me going insane Depending on alcohol to get me over the pain Praying my habit don't ever have me turn to cocaine I won't allow this temporary pain to turn to a stain I wanna live but my joy for life is stuck in the grave God I need you more than ever, I was hoping you came So used to holdin' shit in, it's kinda hard to explain Picasso the best way to put it Before you knew the meaning of it, you misunderstood it Far from perfect, did a lot of shit I knew I shouldn't Duckin' my demons but they comin' like a movin' bullet Shit, it's crazy out here, it's like I love it and I hate it out here Gotta be mentally stable out here, just to make it out here Never slippin', everyday I'm aware If I ain't got it, I'll go get it, and I'll make it appear Tough love, being assertive, that's the way that I care When I'm distant and I ignore you, then to me you ain't there When I erase you that's when you worry, replace yo ass in a hurry That's the truth, not a dare, nigga do not compare All this pain in me, I want it washed away I gotta keep faith in me, these niggas want me dead I gotta stay strong, stay strong I've been fightin' all my life, oh May God watch my soul (uh, uh) Only people that think that I fell off Is people who wasn't supportin' before the fame and the fortune My fanbase was already a force and I was sellin' out shows before the radio sources Meanin' the grind of independence what got me in it Not a co-sign or a mention and this is not fiction Now I'm feelin' attention from muhfuckers That once was dick-lickin', and pic-flickin' friendship And this isn't no damn fool I know the game so it's cool And when you play the game, play it by the rules, uh Mama ain't raise no coon, I know the difference between loved and used Life is just hugs and bruises, care and crew Fuck desire, my heart pump fire, ooh Don't inhale my fumes, I'm toxic, caged in like zoos Boxed in like boxin', in the studio locked in Man you couldn't walk a block in my shoes Not even my socks, shit Came from the bottom that's why I fuck with the top shit I'm talkin' 'bout that never, ever, ever in stock shit I don't pop shit, I speak knowledge, just call me a prophet And if you pay attention then you payin' homage Cheap jeans with paid pockets, this poundcake Got these weight watchers weight watchin', uh I ain't stoppin' like Hov said Sit in front of the Bentley, with the doors out like bow-legs I hate a bitch with a fat ass and no legs I love a bitch with some crack pussy and dope head Broke bread with niggas, all I got was a thank you And you got some other niggas out here sayin' they made you, ha The game tryin' to erase you, got my foot on they necks You disrespect the tech I'll give you a facial, uh Apologies to my exes, and no this ain't my confessions Appreciate your time and investment, patience and effort Having ya'll was part of a blessin' Y'all all belong on the cover of Essence No hard feelings, no love lost No bad blood, your love is a bad drug But better to have love than no love I need a blunt, KorLeone, can you roll one? And smoke one? All this pain in me, I want it washed away I gotta keep faith in me, these niggas want me dead I gotta stay strong, stay strong I've been fightin' all my life, oh May God watch my soul, ah Oh, all these battles I've been fighting Ooh, all these battles I've been fighting I just gotta keep on goin' on, on and on, and on, ooh-oh