Token of My Affection

Yo You'd think after all these years of being clean I'd get my feelings back Right? So why it don't feel like that It's like God built my heart with a shield attached Shawty always wanna argue, I can't deal with that So instead of facing my problems, I walk away And I leave the relationship in an awkward way I used to talk about rape like it was funny And then they raped the woman that was close to me Now I listen to those tracks and I can't believe That a younger me could lack such compassion and empathy And I would probably give a kidney Just for my female fans they could forgive me The younger me would probably think I was soft But I look back at them days and I know I was lost, uh Living life without a care in the world So, how could I ever care 'bout a girl? When I couldn't even care for myself Tryna numb the pain, taking every drug on the shelf How could you forgive me when I can't forgive myself? Uh Thank you for your patience All these years clean and I'm still isolating I'm sorry I kept you waiting Shit, fuck, run that back, uh This a token of my affection Wrote these thoughts down on this paper while you were resting As you get older, your life takes a direction When it comes to my love, know there's never a question, uh This is a token of my affection When you staring in the mirror, don't recognize your reflection Just know you gonna be great like you always been destined Keep me by your side you'll never need no protection A little girl is waking up this morning going to her stepfather that touched her last night And she gotta smile in front of her mother, sister and her brother Just like everything is alright when it's not Baby girl, I wish I was there to make you special I wish I was there to make him respect you But overall I wish I could jump to that kitchen table Sit right next to you and protect you Just know half of the kids at school are going through the same thing And it's not your fault, so you can blame him He's gonna get whats coming to him 'Cause karma catches up with everyone and it knows what he's doing How could you selfishly ruin a life and diminish it? There's nothing more precious than a child's innocence All the issues that stem from mental imprisonment How could you stand yourself and live with it? I promise you, if I ever catch him I'm a motherfuckin' finish him Come here, nigga No, no, I promise, no, I prom— I promise! This is a token of my affection Keep me by your side you'll never need no protection I'm here to make right what is destined I love you Yeah You even remember half the shit? Yeah How'd it start? I'ma, I'ma go back I'ma go back to where Hey, hello Ay, we're doin' a skit here Relax, relax, lady I'ma go back to where A mutual friend of ours I gave him a CD That's way back That's like Niggas don't even know Well, we'll get to that That's right We'll get to that Eight years ago, right? Yes, and I remember it had two fire beats One of them is Ebonics That we used just now Yeah Hundred percent And the other one is Bang, Bang, Bidat that I did on Planet of the Apes shit Hundred percent But I was like, yo, the shit is on a CD Hundred percent Like, I need it in email It was like, yo, Frank don't email He only give you beat CDs Yeah I'm like, yo, what the fuck is that, man? Aight, so then that happened Sittin' on those beats for mad long Word The Ebonics beat I sent to Necro to try to get on Word, I remember, I remember hearin' through the grapevine that you were gonna try and get a couple people on that I had even sent it to Immortal Technique, I'm not sure But that was my, that's who I had in mind Boom But so, how did the album come about? Aight, so check it out, this is how it came about I had the shit with MTV Yes You know what I'm sayin'? So, boom, I had the deal with MTV And they wanted me to get They wanted me to get a cast Yeah So I went I had the show I had the show, but poli-tricks, you know what I'm sayin'? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So long story short Short story long What happened was Is um, I'm like, okay I picked, I picked out of, I already picked out two people And I'm like, I need Nems So, boom, so I hit you up, I'm like, "Yo, I got this situation goin' on" Blazay-blah, you really didn't believe me at first Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You know what I'm sayin'? 'Cause mad niggas come like, "I got this goin' on I got this TV show about to come out, niggas is lyin'" I remember son, I told y'all Then you put me in contact with the nigga Ryan Right, right right Then I was like, "This nigga real" And you was like, you was like "I got a TV show too, nigga, Gorilla TV on YouTube" And I was like, I was like, "Aight, no doubt, no doubt" You know what I'm sayin'? I was like, "Lemme just get my man a call 'em" and then he get that conference call goin' on And, and then he'll see what it is So boom So that went down, right Okay, then what happened was like We linked up, we linked up and I was in Crown Heights, I was livin' in Crown Heights I was over there on Pacific between Ocean and New York Boom, like, yo We had to do the, the conference call Yeah It was them MTV niggas Yeah, yeah, yeah So you was like, boom I'ma come through I'ma come through and we gonna, we gon' we gonna build on what we gonna do, you know what I'm sayin'? Or how we gonna work this out when we talk to these people So boom, we was buildin' We was just shootin' the shit, you know what I mean? And then you was like, "Yo, you know what would be ill?" And I was like, "What's that?" You was like, "Yo, your beats and my bars" And I was like, yo, I was like, son, like, yo I was like, "Yo, that's a, that's a great idea, bro" I was like, that's a 'Cause originally I had in mind, I was like Yo, we do like five, six joints I figured the TV show was gonna come out Right, right, right We could drop it at the same time Right Do a tour, all of that 'Cause, yo, on the strength On the strength A hundred, a hundred, a hundred percent, a hundred percent True story I was, I was thinkin' like Yo, if anything, man, like I gotta do an album for Nems You know what I'm sayin'? Like, for real, I was like This shit just happened organically, like That, like What I mean Boom Like What happened was Was, aight, aight Time passes, right And you gave me a CD with mad beats Nah, but time had passed and you kept Hey, yo, hit me, these fucking beats Yeah, 'cause we was also And then the show Then you sent me mad beats And I was like, yo What am I gonna do with a fuckin' CD of beats, nigga? It's twenty, it mighta been twenty, sixteen, twenty-seven Right, right Yo, what am I gonna do with a CD full of beats, nigga? My car don't even got a CD player I don't got a CD player in my crib Like, it was I was like, yo You gotta find a way to email me these beats 'cause I can't go to the studio with these fuckin' With a CD and record over 'em That's unprofessional That's it Then it took, like, a couple months Then you finally got the beats to me through email Right, right, right, right, right And I just started goin' through 'em like boom Then, then the first joint I did was the Timb boots shit Boots upside of your head Yeah That was the first one, but once I did that I was like Yo, this joint is stupid hard, everybody I played it for was like Yo, this shit is crazy Know what I'm sayin'? So from that point, fuckin', like I just started doin' joints then you just started sendin' me more joints through the email Finally you caught up with the times, and then Yo, and then it moved from five or six songs, shit Nah, nah, it wasn't even that I hit you with ten joints at first Yeah, yeah And I swear I think you picked like seven Yeah 'Cause I was like, I was, I was like Yo, I'ma, I was like I'm goin' to the, to of the top of the line And I'm just gonna throw Nems on the top of the line You know what I mean? Yup Then boom, boom, in the end it was like You was like Yo, 'cause I also was recordin' an album I was recordin' my alpha album I had like, couple songs done And I was like, yo