Song parody of
Army Ants
by Tom Waits
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The Whirligig Beetles are wary and fast with an organ to detect the ripples
The Arachnid Moths lay their eggs inside other insects along the borders of fields
Or roads in clusters of white cocoons
The Ribbed Pine Borer is a longhorn beetle
Their antennas are half the length of their body and they feed on dead red pine
Robber Flies, with their immobile heads, inject a paralyzing fluid into their prey
That they snatch from life in mid-air
The Snow Flea's mode of locomotion, strange and odd
With a spiny tail mechanism with hooks and a protracted tube from the abdomen
To enable moisture absorption
The female Praying Mantis devours the male while they are mating.
The male sometimes continues copulating even after the female has bitten off his head
And part of his upper torso
Every night wasps bite into the stem of a plant, lock their mandibles into position
Stretch out at right angles to the stem and, with legs dangling, they fall asleep
If one places a minute amount of liquor on a scorpion
It will instantly go mad and sting itself to death
The Bombardier Beetle, when disturbed
Defends itself by emitting a series of explosions
Sometimes setting off four or five reports in succession
The noises sound like miniature popgun blasts
And are accompanied by a cloud of reddish-coloured, vile-smelling fluid
It is commonly known that ants keep slaves
Certain species, the so-called Sanguinary Ants in particular
Will raid the nests of other ant tribes and kill the queen and then kidnap many of the workers
The workers are brought back to the captor's hive where they are coerced into performing menial tasks
And as we discussed last semester, the Army Ants will leave nothing but your bones
Perhaps you've encountered some of these insects in your communities
Displaying both their predatory and defense characteristics
While imbedded within the walls of flesh and passing for
What is most commonly recognized
As human
The Whirligig Beetles are wary and fast with an organ to detect the ripples
The Arachnid Moths lay their eggs inside other insects along the borders of fields
Or roads in clusters of white cocoons
The Ribbed Pine Borer is a longhorn beetle
Their antennas are half the length of their body and they feed on dead red pine
Robber Flies, with their immobile heads, inject a paralyzing fluid into their prey
That they snatch from life in mid-air
The Snow Flea's mode of locomotion, strange and odd
With a spiny tail mechanism with hooks and a protracted tube from the abdomen
To enable moisture absorption
The female Praying Mantis devours the male while they are mating.
The male sometimes continues copulating even after the female has bitten off his head
And part of his upper torso
Every night wasps bite into the stem of a plant, lock their mandibles into position
Stretch out at right angles to the stem and, with legs dangling, they fall asleep
If one places a minute amount of liquor on a scorpion
It will instantly go mad and sting itself to death
The Bombardier Beetle, when disturbed
Defends itself by emitting a series of explosions
Sometimes setting off four or five reports in succession
The noises sound like miniature popgun blasts
And are accompanied by a cloud of reddish-coloured, vile-smelling fluid
It is commonly known that ants keep slaves
Certain species, the so-called Sanguinary Ants in particular
Will raid the nests of other ant tribes and kill the queen and then kidnap many of the workers
The workers are brought back to the captor's hive where they are coerced into performing menial tasks
And as we discussed last semester, the Army Ants will leave nothing but your bones
Perhaps you've encountered some of these insects in your communities
Displaying both their predatory and defense characteristics
While imbedded within the walls of flesh and passing for
What is most commonly recognized
As human
