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A warm summer day
A man named ted 
A kid in a candy store
Slaughtering all the women he can
Drunk and looking for a victim
Handcuffed in a vw bug
Spin around like super ted Shawty
Come let's go to bed
Cus I gat the rubber band

You will be ripping it
Tripping it
Dripping it
Flipping it
You don't
Spin around like super ted Shawty
Come let's go to bed
Cus I gat the rubber band
You will be ripping it
Tripping it
Dripping it
Flipping it
You don't
Uncle Ted


by Slaid Cleaves

based on a story by Machelle Dunlop



My Uncle Ted died wealthy

All that money was hard won

My Uncle Ted died lonely
gonna solve it 

Yeah, Ted is a prophet 
Gotta make a profit 
It's cause I'm not common
On the winter schemes 
Gotta know just what I mean
Young prodigy
I
filling and willing to go insane

Like when you find a girl and she says she will give you everything
Fuck i'm living in Ted Mosby's fairy tail
Perfect
Meet and Teams 
Netflix Prime and talks on TED
This is how I’m gonna keep my head

When it’s over I will hug and kiss you all 
My dear ones, hold you
Blend in with the killers Ted Bundy
Still locked up for nun free my cuddy
I'm on the road with it
I heard my big bro hit it
The fuck I look like
Scarecrow Ted's got a mangled scythe
He uses to terrorize teenage trysts
If you ask him if he has a brain
You'll find yours in the pumpkin
Not Bobby and Jackie and Jack
And Ethel and Ted and Eunice and Pat and Joan
And Steve and Peter and Jean and Sarge-
There's probably dozens of others
Já v puse nemám kalach, ale vymrdanej minigun
A zásadám se vymykám, a dementy jsem vyklikal
A skvělou partu vychytal, život mě hezky přivítal
A teď
Hey ladies
Have you met Ted

I have been going through
The motions
Emotionally damaged
They do not even know it

I have been going through
parents still crying
You deserve Ted Nugent
You deserve despair
Outrage burning over sportsmen kneeling
There are some freedoms that you will not bear
You
Ladies and Gentlemen... Terrific Teddy sings the blues... Tell it like it is Ted
Sing the blues, Ted... Smash it to 'em Ted... go Ted go...

I woke
run from a problem I Lasso it in
Ted wit the vibe, know I'm the guy
Y'all get tackled, I'm cool with the slide
Flow too dirty, my pen with the Tide
Ted
I regret nothin
I do it all again with no regrets
I do it all again with no regrets
Ted
I do it all again with no regrets
I do it all again with
And my favourite uncle Ted.
	The bad news is that kids like me 
	Will have to go to bed!

Chorus	Everything is ready now, 
	Tomorrow’s the big day.
	We’ve
episode in Law and Order
Now everybody knows what the verdict will read
Yea
Just like Jack the Ripper
Or Ted Bundy
Even the blind can see

That it's murder
dic dic dic dic ted
yeah yeah yeah uh
dic dic dic dic ted
yeah yeah yeah uh

Addicted 
to everything to that you do 
Addicted 
Hope you tweakin for me
Boston in like I'm the Red Sox, make you cry like I'm a Ted Talk
Get rings like Sonic the Hedgehog, off the dome they call me Dreadlocks
Boston in
Ok, we're on the air live from Lake Merit in Oakland, California
We'll have exclusive coverage of Gutfest '89
I'm Ted Casey, and we're gonna go
to hesitate
Corona is not a game we play
Let corona fade away
Let corona fade away

Ted In Fection blesses you and his visions will come true
And while we hear
Will you allow yourself the rebirth of a new moon
You should never try to fill a role that isn't intended for you
Welcome to my Ted talk now take a taste
Fuck...ahhhha
Fuck...ahaaha
Fuck....ahahh
Fuck...ahhhha

Ye-hay...

Fuck Ted Nugent he's a fucking jerk 
I wish that he'd be gone

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