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Hotel Detective
Yeah she's a
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out

Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock
Hotel Detective
Yeah she's a
Hotel Detective
Why don't you check her out

Well the bellhop is funky
The dumbwaiter's a monkey
If there's a knock
They took enough of my mind
To make a calculator
Addin' up the figures, they'll find
That love's a dumbwaiter 

Waitin' for the dream to fade
uptight, downtown, good old whitewash
No more clampdown, clench teeth, rat's-nest, pipe dreams
No more tight-arsed, priest-hole, dumbwaiter lies
Pinchpenny,
Somewhere below the grand hotel
There is a tunnel that leads down to hell
Take the dumbwaiter, the laundry chute
Then sneak through the hall past
this beat like your dumbwaiter
I'd tinker with you but this toy is bendy
You look like the logo of a Soyboy Wendy's
People don't dig it, not even your
a fundraiser
You a charity case, lets save face
I'm a elevator. you stuck in one place, stuck at one job, you a dumbwaiter
Penny for ya thoughts, leave a man
wait a little later
Maybe we could take a dumbwaiter
Maybe we climb up a drainpipe in the dead of night
Maybe we could make like we're having a fight
What it would not erase 
As a congress of rats 
Gnawing at the ship's beams 

As a corporate dumbwaiter 
Standing still in the realm of danger 
Loaded
smart
'Cause God knows that my schooling never did
All I know are ups and downs so call me Dumbwaiter
Build me up to brand new heights to crack me down
and pressure to stay
Test my patience press my buttons a game that I won't play
I ain't no elevator ain't no dumbwaiter neither
Evaporating quickly like puddles
wasn't a snake
Or a squirrel or a pair of ducks mating
It was an escalator coming up
Out of the ground from Hell
Like the old dumb-waiter in the haunted
Pull our pockets inside out
Our hips have grown wings
With a block and tackle or dumbwaiter
We'll hoist ourselves up with strings

And if someone
dumbwaiter

To answer the phone when you call
Sorry, Sonny's underneath the weather
Try him back later next fall
The boss called him out to California

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