Imagine the Duchess's Feelings

Noël CowardNoël Coward 

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Noël Coward

Sir Noël Peirce Coward (16 December 1899 – 26 March 1973) was an English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer, known for his wit, flamboyance, and what Time magazine called "a sense of personal style, a combination of cheek and chic, pose and poise". more »

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The duchess had manner, for dignity lurks
 in the shadows of Debret.
 but fate threw a spanner smack into the works,
 tarnishing her coronet.
 
Three large sons were born to her,
 But one sad morn to her,
 There came a premonition of regret
 (Said) the duchess well(?)
 Something doesn't gel
 Said the duchess well
 Hell!
 
Imagine the duchess's feelings,
 On having hatched out a brood,
 To find her first son was weak, though well-mannered,
 Her second rather stupid,
 And the third plain rude.
 
Her eldest son, when in trouble, went white
 Her second son looked blue and hung his head
 But imagine the duchess's feelings,
 When her youngest son went red!
 

She sent them to Etton, traditional youth
 Was theirs whatever else they've got
 But nothing could sweeten the bitterest truth,
 That baby wasn't quite so hot
 
High life gave no joy to him.
 The hoi polloi to him,
 Provided something that his peers did not.
 Said her grace aghast,
 Is it going to last?
 Said her grace aghast,
 Last
 
Imagine the Duchess's feelings--
 you could have pierced her with swords--
 When she discovered her youngest, like(d) Lenin, (her pet lamb liked Lenin)
 Had(and?) sold the Daily Worker near the House of Lords. (and)
 
Her eldest son went to Boodle's and White's upper-class clubs
 Her second (joined the blues his father led?)
 But imagine the Duchess's feelings,
 When her youngest son went Red.
 
Imagine the duchess's feelings
 Her overwhelming despair
 To find her third son hobnobbed with the butler,
 And sang the Internationale in Belgrave square
 
Her first son's debts bled the family white
 Her second son blued everything and fled--
 But imagine the Duchess's feelings,
 When the apple of the eye went Red.
 Poor mammy,
 Her youngest son went red!

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