Far from Home
Rashaann
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I been far from home, just reflecting on how much I’ve grown From these good times in every single place we’ve flown Past year and a half been the greatest times ever Now I’m addicted to this life, I’ll never let it go Damn, but I been running from some things Thought if I run away, I’ll probably come back to some change It’s hard to elaborate on all the things that’s in my brain And I swear to god this pain’ll make a nigga go insane But this here is therapeutic Taking all of these emotions, put it all into the music That’s the blueprint laid by the realest ones that do this 'Cause they choose to be vulnerable, and then we use it So here I am, carrying the torch of that legacy Wonder if my biggest dreams are even what’s best for me I give it all I got 'til it ain’t nothing left in me Questioning if the music’s even my destiny Especially I’m living the life that I want, no regrets for me Without the fame putting my privacy in jeopardy That’s the recipe to go insane and lose integrity So can I manage? I gotta choose carefully And lately I feel like my time is running out LIke I’m just one of several thousands of accounts Of the guy that had it all, but he never made it With all the potential to someday be the greatest And usually I’m stressing, but you know what’s crazy? The fact that the shit doesn’t bother lately 'Cause I’ll just take another flight and have some wild ass nights While some other new nigga getting decorated I’ll admit I lost some interest, too invested in this living Constant trips to different cities, great nights with the finest women Caught up in the fact that around the world people naturally fucking with me With no fame or no clout, 'cause lord knows I hate them leeches But being gone gave a whole new perspective And hella inspiration, fueled the progression A whole lot of blessings and valuable lessons But also the fear that my loved ones neglected 26 years, just missed my first birthday Then a second passed, missing time at a worse rate Then Christmas came, this was all the same year And most would assume that this ain’t a big deal But it is for us, 'cause I came from a place of love Despite not having much, just each other was enough But now I understand that everybody ain’t the same 'Cause mostly all my friends can’t relate to this support And it caught me by surprise 'cause I didn’t realize A lot of parents treated raising their kids like a job And after 18 years they just wouldn’t go beyond So when that time is up, you on your own to survive And their only job description was to provide Ain’t tryna go the extra mile with quality time The cause of internal issues later in life Thankful that was never the case when it came to mine But I got brothers, I’m the one who they look up to I wanna see you be the very best at what you want to I wanna see you get involved with all the things you love to And when I’m not around, never question that I love you What has this come to, that I even gotta say that? Shed tears cause it’s my fault, and I really hate that My mother called, I’m on the road, still on the go She said they said that they feel like they don’t know you no more Far from home I find it funny how I met you on my birthday And your presence been a gift to me since the first day Honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you Or how you’re always there for me on my worst days And you wouldn’t know it, 'cause I never show it The most secretive open book, I can’t go exposing All my problems, 'cause that shit is just a part of life And we all got 'em, can’t let em be defining moments I’m on Khaosan the first time, a hell of a night And of course I ain’t looking for the love of my life I’m like I need some options and it’s thousands in sight And in the midst of me mingling, you come walking by I introduced myself, only one thing on my mind But it’s revealed that it was way more in due time And the more time we spend, the more I’m feeling inside And when I went back home, not a day would go by Without us talking, and now I’m back often But I know to deal with me, for you it is exhausting 'Cause I be getting lost in all them girls that’s on the market I know you hate it, but respect the fact that I been honest Sometimes I hate I ever got you involved and So I try to keep some distance, never make a promise 'Cause I don’t wanna let you down, you’ll think it’s all nonsense So I told you straight up that I may just have a problem Don’t do no drugs, I only drink on occasion And that’s only socially, a little more on vacation And for a minute I did have a gambling addiction Where I won and lost thousands, but thankfully it’s finished So remaining my only vice is women Never enough, the rush of the lust in these feelings It’s like what you expect? I’m young, having fun, traveling Chasing this career, a nigga gotta have some balancing Living single, do what I want, no one to answer to But this heart I got for you brings guilt, so I’m careful with The way I move, although I told you all the facts I never lied, but never wanted you to catch me in the act But that night you did With my arm around her, heading straight back to the crib Pain all in your eyes, why you had to witness this? And now I’m saying all the shit that you ain’t tryna hear I’m apologetic, but I’m like, "this what it is Hella love for you, but baby I’m just tryna live" We finished talking, held me tight, and didn’t say a word But somehow I still heard you begging me don’t go… But I did anyway, how could you wanna see my face? It’s like how much can you take? Now I feel like a disgrace You should runaway, for me it’s too much pressure Then you told me lately you been going through depression Now I’m a contribution, I can’t offer no solution Say you wanna be exclusive, then I tend to get elusive It’s like f*ck me, you been going through some real shit And when your father passed, I can’t imagine how you deal with The finality, cried after you told me Seeing you in pain, no amount of consoling Can bring him back, but also I was thinking that What if that was my… I don’t even wanna think about that I can count on one hand how many times I seen you cry And for those few, an extreme reason why But this was traumatizing, something different 'bout this time The shit was chilling, tried to erase it from my mind We in the midst of a normal conversation You know music, sports, who I been dating Then your tears start flowing and a little bit of shaking I’m caught off guard, like, "what the f*ck am I facing?" You brush it off and try to tell me that it’s all good And I pretend to believe it, don’t really know if I should You prolly needed an ear, but all of my fears Prevailed of me learning something I ain’t trying to hear So I let you brush it off and get away with it Hoping that it’s only one time, but it ain’t, is it? 'Cause now the shit just comes more frequent And more intense, I feel defeated Can’t imagine how it feels for you I’m scared to know the reason Now it’s hella tabs open on my phone What could be the cause for these symptoms that you’ve shown? I type in Parkinson’s, shit got me losing hope So I just keep running… This uneasy feeling all up in my bones I stay out late on purpose, I ain’t tryna go back home I find it kind of hard to make you feel you ain’t alone 'Cause I just keep running… And you often thank me for my contribution But deep down I know it’s way more that I could be doing I feel I’ve done the minimum, is this just an illusion? 'Cause I won’t stop running… Damn, please don’t think this is me being selfish It just hurts so bad and I can’t really help it I can’t face it straight up, man I really feel helpless So I just keep running… I thought I got better, working on myself all by my lonely These past few years I just been running from the old me Hate seeing old pictures, now a nigga so different Back then I was so timid, just constantly searching For a source of confidence other than accomplishments And to know that I’m that nigga regardless o
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"Far from Home Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/9915586/Rashaann/Far+from+Home>.
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