Pit.

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Chonny Jash

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I can feel it coming
Like a void inside my stomach
Am I watching or performing? And
Will you heed my warning
When I tell you that I
Have been here before? Before

I can feel it flowing
Through my veins and through my blood
I can feel the hatred growing
Like a nearing crimson flood
Oh I feel as if my
Conscience is drugged is drugged

I feel sick
I thought that I'd already filled this pit
I feel sick and I'm not sure how much
Longer I'll hide it

Just how many times can I toe the line?
Does everything look fine? Am I
Gonna meet the deadline?
Read between the lines can you see the signs?
Did you hear it from me
Or was it through the grapevine?
Tell me what I see, tell me what I fear
Tell me what I wanna hear
Tell me when my death will draw near
Play me like a fool until you disappear
Making me believe that all I do is insincere

Everything I see, everywhere I go
Like you're lookin' at me
Through a one-way window
"Sing a different song" "Play
A different note"
You're a hidden disease without an antidote
I'll wear a thin disguise and
Tell the usual lies
Hit 'em right between the eyes
And blame my mistakes on hindsight
Begin to believe in my own
Bullshit until one day, i admit

My mind is slowly numbing to the pain
I am succumbing
Am I something? Am I nothing? Is
It hatred? Is it loving?
I can feel the anger coming
It's a silence my chest
But the cancer keeps on growing
Pretending it knows what's best
I can feel it slowly seeping
A parasite in the mind
Everything I see before me
Everything I've left behind
It comes when I'm sleeping and then
It festers when I wake
Before it finally explodes
Manifesting as heartache

Please just tell me something that can
Put my soul to rest
Every emotion I have is one
That I chose to repress
Because the only thing scarier than
The thought I'm alone
Is the idea of taking that
Step into the unknown
It's safety in solitude stay by myself
Don't give them the attitude
Don't let them help
Because it's way easier to lie
And say that you're doing fine
Instead of opening up and giving
Your friends a through line

I can feel it coming
Please don't make me open up
Yeah I promise that we're better off
Just leaving this one shut
All this hatred stems from a
Place of love of love

So please don't take it personally and
Please don't think me vile
But it's so much less disturbing just
To grit your teeth and smile
So I think that I will stay
Here a while a while

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