Never Seen Her Again

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Doctor Scott

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Ekaterinka came to this country with nothing
A chubby little tub-of-goo with a top like a muffin
To say that she was chubby though didn't describe it right
She had the kind of butterball frame I've always idolized
I tried to book a title fight to wrestle her down some
Communication issues were a mess to rebound from
Confounded at first but my resounding rebellion
Would never let me resort to a form so Machiavellian
My honest approach eventually opened the door
Just a couple middle schoolers making out on the floor
We had a ball, see when she moved here at first
She had the kind belly that would really quench my thirst
But then these California fast foods doubled her worth
Sadly after graduation baby dropped off the earth
Always wondered what the hell happened to my full-figured foreign friend
Never seen her again

Ekaterinka had a homegirl she used to hang out with
Used to let her blubbery body pour out these outfits
Supersize Svetlana from the West Richmond
Northside of the Upper Avenues is where we'd kick it
After Ekaterinka disappeared home
I would kick with it Svetlana paging the weedman on the payphone
Sometimes I'd use to use the one up on 37th
A block from the 48 bus stop at St. Ignatius
Never chased Svetlana cuz I figured
The fact that she was three years older would keep me out the picture
But the truth is we bonded
And by the time we finally made love up in the Honda
She had gained so much weight we could barely maneuver
Around the backseat so we parked the car by Herbert Hoover
Once again though right by the 48-Quintara
Baby was so big we got out and did it right there
Lovely, word is bond she was funny
Always started every other sentence with "In My Country"
But then she got caught at Lucky swiping cigarettes
Later she got caught at Warehouse stealing them compact discs
That was it, they sent her back home, that was the end
Real talk, broke my heart, never seen her again

Double Chin Donatella did her thing in Daly City
Four-hundred pounds but she had some baby titties
Equated to a belly weighted down to her knees
Optically pleasing for a breezy that was all of seventeen
Born a year apart so she got her license first
Safe to say it got me hard the way the car snuggled her curves
Looking sorta like she wore the Ford that she was driving
Finer than a mother so you know I'm fitta dive in
Took her to the Ocean Park Motel on 46th
She had some friends with some weed, some horny chicks
Naturally Donatella told them to slide thru
We smoked a blunt and drove to Mission Blvd for drive thru
By the time we got back a surprise ensued
Her parents were fuming posted up in our room
Guess they got a call about activity on they credit card
Or something of the sort so they told her get back in the car
Left me alone with her friends I couldn't hate
Cuz the hotel already been charged for the day
So we partied all night, my mainy self with these two broads
Beautiful broads with swimsuits and tube tops
Drank a gang of Johnny Walker feeling all randy
Curvy Candy passed out but Monique with the meatier fanny
Taking a shower called my name from the back
So I hopped right in and and bent her over like a Mack
Immaculate setting because she lit up scented candles
So the mood was perfected as I gripped on her love handles
Woke up in the morning to a room without a note
All by myself while the maid knocked on the door and told me time to go
Tried to page Donatella but as expected
Baby must've been grounded her beeper was disconnected
Heard she moved to somewhere hella far after that
Never seen her again, what the fucks up with that?

Last but not least, Obese Tra'niece
She came from West Pittsburg but I met her by the beach
She could suck a couple generations out of a brother
Booty dragging down to the ground like a muffler
Had a crazy uncle that was madly in love with her
Told her if he couldn't have her, no one could, you get the picture
I used to crack jokes about it all day
She would kind of giggle but you could tell she wasn't playing
Making out in the pool at the YMCA
That made everything okay, she couldn't swim but okay
But one day, Tra'niece was reported missing
And her uncle skipped town like he was gone fishing
To this day they never found neither
And with a name like Tra'niece they ain't even trying
F*ck the system and her creepy ass kin
I miss that kid, word is bond, never seen her again

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