The Lands Of Infinite Pestilence

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Don't know how to be happy
Or to have any fun
Always invited places
But I never come
Don't know how to be happy
Or to be myself
Drowning in expectation
Just a shadow in this Hell
Don't know how to be happy
Got no one to call
Bills, chores, job, school
I'm drowning in it all

Don't know how to be happy
Sometimes I want it to end it all
This never ceasing pain
The mask and how I pretend

Don't know how to be happy
Sick to my stomach in shame
One day I hope I'll overcome
And have my light reclaimed

Don't know how to be happy
Hatred swelling in my guts
Memories branded deeply
I'll never be enough
Sentient
Pounding interior
Bleeding heart
Might retract
All notions

Is today
This moment
Where you
Thought
You'd be
Was this ever in
Your realm of
Possibilities
Soon
Washed away
Cleansed lands
Of foul sediment
Purity to rise
From decay
Replenishing
Green rebirth
Ever changing
Ever forward
Establish new life
In the death of
All current order
Reaper
He's foretold
To maintain the balance
None the exception
Wield's power
So callous
Sanguine
The rupture
Of all that
Is foreseen
Beauty as all of
This chaos
Does convene
Let the flood
Remove the stain
Transform our fall
Until nothing remains
Send us the angel
To right these mistakes
And our pain, all in vain
Can innocence be reclaimed
I'm fighting to reason
To awaken my defaults
Of goodness
Look through us
Revealing our torment
Each damned
Into the pit of fire
Judgement to atone
For the path of desire
Send the guilt and pain
To a different shore
Realigning this madness
Tide of atrophy
No more

I wonder what it feels like
To be cut off from your supply
No more ego boosts for god
Who was a demon in disguise
I wonder what it feels like
To only makes friends to use
Incapable of being selfless
Or accepting a single truth
I wonder what it feels like
Deflecting all of the blame
To put on this mask of perfect
But to slip and reveal your disdain
I wonder what it feels like
To never wonder what others feel
Damned before we even began
The only thing I know that's real
Darkness states to sabotage
Redeem the torn, no map to home
Vindictive, calm and passive
Terror tremors bone
It's reacting presently
To past happenings
Absurd

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