The Mistletoe King

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Front Porch Rockers

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He's standing in the corner
Bopping to a Christmas tune
His eyes are subtly scanning
Every woman in the moon
You'll be minding your own business
You'll just be doing your thing
When he sidles up
And says Look up
He calls himself the Mistletoe King

He comes to every party
No matter what the day
No one knows how he got invited
He shows up anyway
It don't matter what you're pitching
He's going to take a swing
Better hide out in the kitchen
Beware of the Mistletoe King

He's looking for some kissing
He says that it's tradition
While staring and stirring his drink
He might be feeling merry but
His little twig and berries
Ain't gonna get him what he thinks

He's standing in the corner
Creeping out everyone
But he's not going to ruin my Christmas
He's not going to ruin my fun
I'll first decline politely
But if he won't take the hint
He's gonna get my knee
And he'll no longer be
Known as the Mistletoe King
Yeah don't be a Mistletoe King

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