Suicidal Notes

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Lil JJ Reynolds

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I'm sick of living, as these evil thoughts roam thru my head
I'm highly dazed from the meds while wishing I was dead
Eyes blurry, seeing red while hypnotized by the devil
As he takes over my body that would drop below a level
That were lower than the flames in my mind, I feel insane
Jumping from the mood swings that made me give up on everything
Is it worth to live thru life when you're feeling worthless?
Too many demons making babies to re-grow the curse shit
Pistol to the head, Lord 'should I blast myself?
No-one cares, they disappear when I ask for help
Can't trust nobody here 'that's full of confusion and enemies
Trying to kill me and my mind that's connected to me to write on sheets
Full of my suicidal thoughts in piles
It's been a while 'since I've been happy with a real smile on my face
Now it's fake on my face to be exposed
With envelopes 'full of words from my suicidal notes
Disappearing in the shadows tonight
I'm fighting demons for a reason to pretend I'm alright
But I'm not pretending anymore, so what's the point of this life?
Cause I'm feeling suicidal 'next to all these notes that I write
I'm suicidal and I just want to fly to the sky
Cause I'm sick of living in this misery, I'd rather die
Without saying goodbye
In the beginning, my final is up next
Nevertheless, I'm feeling suicidal
No dreams to chase, feeling like a waste of space
In this world of disgrace, how many suicides will it take
For folks to care about the ones that are hurt?
Cause them 'not listening to the words or paying attention makes it worse
Makes me hurt
People laughing at the way that I dress and how I look
Mixed with stress that fades thru my flesh
Nobody understands the pain and all the stress that multiplies
Leaving me a mess with the cold regrets
I'm next on satan's list 'for my brain to bleed
Until my brain proceeds to turn me off and leave
My dying breath that I breathe is my depressed feelings
When I get no oxygen from my heart that I'm still re-building thru the tension
I feel like quitting from the notes that I printed out
Cause I'm planning my death for no-one to figure out
By putting a fake smile on my face that's cold
Until my life gets exposed from my suicidal notes
Disappearing in the shadows tonight
I'm fighting demons for a reason to pretend I'm alright
But I'm not pretending anymore, so what's the point of this life?
Cause I'm feeling suicidal 'next to all these notes that I write
I'm suicidal and I just want to fly to the sky
Cause I'm sick of living in this misery, I'd rather die
Without saying goodbye
In the beginning, my final is up next
Nevertheless, I'm feeling suicidal

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