Larry Gerkin the Perpetual Virgin
Speedy Justice
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Larry thought that high school brought Grown up variations of love Thought child like mind was left behind And everybody gots a lovey dove But a permanent boner Nothing but a loner Disillusioned him thru and through Now Larry's very wary and quite Contrary needs to toss a hail mary Catch a cootie coo Times might change but one main thing It never fails to be It's that nobody loves a Larry In the 21st century He graduated never mated always the third wheel Went to college sexual knowledge mostly kept concealed Took a chance at a pledging dance got roofied Woke up broke College plans were mostly hands Just him and a couple of blokes And he wanted a girl with eyes blue steel Freckles she's embarrassed of Hair of red lies on his bed with Moans and sucking sounds of love He thought that sex must happen Lest the world turn upside down It turned and turned again Turned again Larry Gerkin the perpetual virgin Never did get laid Some folks nay just don't got what it takes To spread their DNA He tried to pay they walked away As soon as cash changed hands Tried a school for blind lonely ladies But his man cologne was contraband Even phoned the old folks home To see if any takers Found a tease at 83 Punched him in his babymakers Larry Gerkin the perpetual virgin Never did get laid Some folks nay just don't got what it takes To spread their DNA Times might change but one main thing It never fails to be It's that nobody loves a Larry In the 21st century
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"Larry Gerkin the Perpetual Virgin Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/8816617/Speedy+Justice/Larry+Gerkin+the+Perpetual+Virgin>.
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