Larry Gerkin the Perpetual Virgin

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Speedy Justice

2:44

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Larry thought that high school brought
Grown up variations of love
Thought child like mind was left behind
And everybody gots a lovey dove

But a permanent boner
Nothing but a loner
Disillusioned him thru and through
Now Larry's very wary and quite
Contrary needs to toss a hail mary
Catch a cootie coo

Times might change but one main thing
It never fails to be
It's that nobody loves a Larry
In the 21st century

He graduated never mated always the third wheel
Went to college sexual knowledge mostly kept concealed
Took a chance at a pledging dance got roofied
Woke up broke
College plans were mostly hands
Just him and a couple of blokes

And he wanted a girl with eyes blue steel
Freckles she's embarrassed of
Hair of red lies on his bed with
Moans and sucking sounds of love

He thought that sex must happen
Lest the world turn upside down
It turned and turned again
Turned again

Larry Gerkin the perpetual virgin
Never did get laid
Some folks nay just don't got what it takes
To spread their DNA

He tried to pay they walked away
As soon as cash changed hands
Tried a school for blind lonely ladies
But his man cologne was contraband

Even phoned the old folks home
To see if any takers
Found a tease at 83
Punched him in his babymakers

Larry Gerkin the perpetual virgin
Never did get laid
Some folks nay just don't got what it takes
To spread their DNA

Times might change but one main thing
It never fails to be
It's that nobody loves a Larry
In the 21st century

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