Mother Is God In The Eyes Of A Child (III. No Tears Part Six)

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How far can one fall?
How lonely is your god?
Made in shapes of prisons
Sewn together by loose knots
Reach inside my throat
Pull out the song I wrote
That reminds you of a better place
Before we watched the world implode

Falling out, of love with myself
Tie the rope tightly now
And hide the knife that would cut me down
Fill up an urn, of your favorites parts that burned
Am I the selfish one or are we just taking turns?

I can't bear the sight
Of pain leaking from your eyes
So I'll make sure this time
I get the cuts right
Holy holy holy
You hardly even know me
Holy holy holy
Yet you still try to control me
Holy holy holy
I hate the way that you pose for me

Falling out, of love with myself
Tie the rope tightly now
And hide the knife that would cut me down
Fill up an urn, of your favorites parts that burned
Am I the selfish one or are we just taking turns?

Falling out, of love with myself
Tie the rope tightly now
And hide the knife that would cut me down
Fill up an urn, of your favorites parts that burned
Am I the selfish one or are we just taking turns?

Let me go, Rot my bones
Peel my skin, let new life begin
Prayers can't mend my hands
Remove floorboards, to find a rotten core

Like a ghost with a gun to its head
I'm shaking from the dread
At the end of my rope
I'll finally find hope

You call them shadow people but I think
They're the only ones watching over me
I've wasted so much time with each drink
Every drop drowning out a memory

The hardest part isn't leaving any of you
I won't know any difference
I'll be lifeless and feeding the earth
All of the sorrow in hopes
It turns into something beautiful
Because all I ever wanted to do was create something beautiful
Out of my pain
The hardest part isn't leaving
The hardest part is living, Knowing I'll never have made life worth it
It's not about how bad they'll miss me
It's about how much better off they'll be
When they won't have to pretend Like loving Me isn't nearly impossible
And while anyone can say I'm just Delegating the pain to my loved ones
Isn't it selfish to ask of me the Most miserable possible endeavor 
My tiny mind Can perceive?
To live as if nothing is wrong?
To know what could become?
And to wade through waters
Not deep enough to drown me
But just enough that can't catch my breath

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