By Myself

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JWanders

3:19

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Just trying to figure out which route to take
Left or right which one of them would my pops take
I'm a go the other way
Don't want to be the man that I came from
Why I be stuck writing lines when my days done
Look at where we came from
Left out when the rain come
Wonder if this pain will ever go away
Plaster a smile on my face even on the darkest days
Looks can be deceiving for a while didn't think that type of way
Emotions up and down sometimes hit by a tidal wave
To much emotion in my sound starting to feel like Rod Wave
But I don't know man
Shit ain't been the same
Stuck up in my hurtful ways
Not trying to feel the pain so I stay on the chemicals
None of them been medical
Body turning critical
To much they gone finish me
Touch me I'll diminish you
Want smoke I got a blunt or two
Spark it up I'm trying to get loose
Hit it once then pass her back to dude
Bad bitches screaming do me to
100 racks I'll stack two by two
Don't give a f*ck about her and me
Just wanted it to be me and you yea
You and me, me and you
Just wanted it to be me and you yea
Came up with a pen and a pad
Stuck looking back writing shit from my past
I don't know if I'll relax
I'm just scared I might relapse
Slowly coming to a crumble everything going bad
Everything going south
Everything looking sad
18 years been in my bag
Switch it up to chase some racks
Get my family out that jam
Switch it up cause I'm the man
Switch it up to show my mom that I ain't going to the can yea
Going to college while I write
Distracted by the books but either way I need a better life
Make it out I'll roll the dice but I got high hopes
Future looking bright even with your eyes closed
but I think I got a blindfold on sometimes
Everything goes dark trapped wit demons inside
Terrifying thoughts I get stuck in my mind
Sometimes feeling left behind
Since a youngin been traumatized
Too far gon can I still change my life
Hot boxing the crib 5 spliffs all night
Roll till I die while I pour up some sprite
Gone in the wind just to get my mind right
Been practicing for the limelight
Taking everything in just to rhyme it right
So I got to drop it all when the times right
Taking no break working all night
All night
We was left here just to rot
Come out the bottom thinking out the box
Stuck in the bottom got dope up in my socks
Don't try to press me about money I got
Hustled for everything nigga kick rocks
Stay in the fast lane no pit stops
I been trapping low trying to get high
I would rob a little just to get by
I remember I was homeless and alone
I remember stealing food out the store
Hide my pain with a smile deep down below
Lost in the storm I most definitely been hurt before
Just trying to figure out which route to take
Left or right which one of them would my pops take
I'm a go the other way
Don't want to be the man that I came from
Why I be stuck writing lines when my days done

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