Visions and Voices

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Kenny Goliff

11:12

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Well, it's been some time since I heard your voice
And all the sounds have just turned to noise
And I think I cried when you ran away
And your name became far too hard to say
But honestly, my memory
Has lost its grip in this heaven-sent requiem
And I think my head just can't hold much more
Since I lost my mind on this western shore
But I hope that it'll come back to me
Well, it's been a while since I lost my name
And I know where I am, but not where I've been
There was blood in the road, there was rivers and stones
I was caught in the cold, I was selling my soul
You're an arsonist in my living room
As my head fills with fire, I see paintings of you
And I'm hearing things that I can't explain
And I don't feel a thing but the numbness of pain
But I hope that you'll come back for me
But I still think of you every time I breathe
And the water is heavier than it's ever been
So I bate my breath and I bite my tongue
And I wonder if you could still love your own son
It's a hundred years since I thought of you
When the world was still warm, and love was still true
But I can't recall if I really knew
If there's ever a way to get back what you lose
But you told me, well, I just pray all day
And I wait for a word, and I hear him say
"My boy, I know what you did, and I've forgiven you"
I was just a kid when I last talked to you
But I don't believe in ghosts no more
Now I'm hollowed out, I have lost my way
And the water is deadlier than it's ever been
Now the tide is high and my pays are due
And I can't figure out what was fake and what's true
And I'm sinking down in this holy war
And I hope this ship takes me back to the shore
And I'm fucking scared that I'll find my way home
And there'll be nothing there but shaking heads and broken hearts
And visions of futures I could see
Hearing voices of believers screaming for peace
Telling me, "it turns out okay, there's no need to be scared
There's no way you could fall again til you walk up the stairs"
So I take the path 'til I think I'm free
And the water is emptier than I've ever seen
So I hold my heart, and I walk away
And after all, I'm just another waste
'Til I f*ck it all up again, when I lost my mind
Now my soul is dead, but my heart is alright
And I'm sitting up on a deadly sin
And I'm cutting strings off a violin
And I'm staring down at a wedding ring
And my thoughtless thoughts are turning violent
And I hope you'll remember me when I'm dead and gone
And you'll press repeat on my favorite songs
And you can act like nothing changed but the calendar
And hallucinate what you thought you heard
But you haven't heard me speak in a hundred years
And I waited for you to come join me here
While you write elegies for your final love
And play melodies 'til you're strong enough
And all of my enemies, they'll all fade away
And my memories last another day
And I hope you can see me across the horizon
Through blood in the water and tears in your eyes
And I want to believe that you needed to talk
But I'm starting to think I was probably wrong
And I hope you'll forgive me, but please don't forget
All the things that I've done, all the words that I've said
All the friends that I've made, all the brothers I lost
All the lies I believed, all the wars that I fought
All the faces I've seen, all the books that I've read
All the drugs that I've done, all the money I spent
All the people I loved, all the places I've been
Every day that I breathed 'til I wished I was dead
And there's too much to think, and there's too much to know
About how to live life, how to breathe, how to cope
And I hate to admit, I don't know what to do
But to get on my knees, ask for help, and say
Thank you
I, I was afraid
Of all our fates
To die in pain
You, you proved me right
To fear the fight
You lost your eyes
We, we had it solved
I can't recall
Where it all went wrong

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