I Eat Rocks For Dinner (Cal's Mix)

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Pacific Bird

8:45

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Today I decided I'll be so cute and awkward
You'll all have no choice but to love me
I stayed up for an hour
Looking for Will Toledo's Furaffinity account
It's not weird I swear it wasn't
For stalking reasons I just thought it was cute
It made me feel better about myself

I think I would've seen God had I found it
I think that's the reason I never found it
Cause even if God exists
I don't think we're meant to see him
I think I would've seen him had I found it

I spent a while customizing my experience
To my degenerate interests
Like feeling loved and reaffirmation
I'm yours, every instant

I swore I swallowed rocks
Every night for a year
That's why I have a lead gut
I tried to find something
To fill my empty sides
My search came up dumb

I think I would've seen God had I found it
I think that's the reason I never found it
Cause even if God exists
I don't think we're meant to see him
I think I would've seen him had I found it

Tonight I'll have nightmares
Of sleeping peacefully
And this one's the last place
I'd want to comb over me
What's the point of trying
To put out those embarrassing embers
What's the point of art at all
If the fire never cooks me

Waking up at 6
Blasting all I want out the stereo
Feeling kinda sick
Working myself into the patio
And when I have the time
I'm searching online for
Rocks to eat for something sweet to
Take my mind off of my
Mind so I can write what I really am
Who I really am

And it would bite me It has before
For all my aspects I don't endure
So find me
Please please find me soon

And I would love to yell out everything that makes me me
But I'm so scared so fucking scared
Of everything God everything

Even of who I love so much
I trust so much
I love too much
I can't say much
Out of fear that
I'm weird
Far too weird

I have my one love
Who I bleed to
Who I cry to
I wouldn't lie to
So why am I so scared
So so scared of everything but him

Waking up at 6
Blasting all I want out the stereo
Feeling kinda sick
Working myself into the patio
And when I have the time
I'm searching online for
Rocks to eat for something sweet to
Take my mind off of my
Mind so I can write what I really am
Who I really am

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