Tongue Wizard (Re-released Version)

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Austentatious

Austentatious is a long-form improvised comedy show, in the style of a Jane Austen novel, where each show is improvised by a six-strong cast, based on a title suggested by a member of the audience. Begun in 2011 in London, the original cast members took the show to the Edinburgh Festival Free Fringe in the summer of 2012. Following their initial success, they began performing a monthly show in London, transferring to the West End in 2017, and have since performed on BBC Radio 4, on tour, and at the Edinburgh Fringe. more »

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No caution when I'm spitting, my confidence is risen
I'm not fitting these mittens, I'm not fitting these shoes
Pedal your feet, put your foot on the pedal
Get level headed, get your head on my level
Ya don't have to listen if you're gettin' offended
I'm recommending you let me finish my sentence
Did they mention, I'm a relentless, pretentious invention
From another dimension and I'm gainin' momentum
Sexual reference erects in every direction
Best use protection or catch a rectal infection, did I mention
My selective attention's affecting my mental discretion
Second guessing my intellectual records
This shit's legitimate
It gets ridiculous, quick spit meticulous
Mystic conspicuous, fitness, I'm gettin' it
Witness is interested in this magnificence
Come hither, bum kissers, among the tongue wizard
Can you come listen, have you considered
I'm one in a million, abundant puns in it
I'm having fun with it, I'm the
Bar slinger, grippin' the mic with all fingers
The harbinger of hard liquor, the bartender
Smart thinker for marketing my hard labor
Carpenter embarking to a star figure
Take a look at the fucking phrases I'm making
Pages and pages, the rage is awakened
I like the shape that it's taking, now the stages are waiting
For me to make an invasion, amazing occasion
All the Haleys and Kateys are just waiting and waiting
'Til I be making my gravy, so they can say that they love me
And try to take all the money then they can say that they hate me
Even if we were fucking, she could just say that we're nothin
Baby we're just mating, we're not technically dating,
I'm innovating and creating, doin that 'til I'm eighty
If you're great it's a maybe, but don't go making me crazy,
I'm still waiting for the lady that will break all my ratings

Those are fucking sick rhymes bro
But they're nothing like mine though
Shut your pie hole, get your mind blown
By the rhyme flow, of a psycho

I'm a rebel with incredible, unforgettable
Metaphysical, meta-rhythmical energy
Maybe it's the ketamine but every entity that I ever meet
Has entered me and is endlessly rendering
In my head like a memory, I'm alive but one day
I'll be as dead as I'll ever be, will they remember me
Am I really what I pretend to be, am I inviting
The enemies, that will go to extremity

It's my destiny, my quest to be the best emcee
Flexin' these impressive beats, invest in me
I'm meant to be invested heavily, level up collect XP
Then respawn, and keep the beat on, I keep heat on
To reach the peak, they question me, they're testin' me
But I love this shit like less than three

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