For The Fans, Pt. 3

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Speedy Justice

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When you come and see me with ever present apology
It's never about music or how I do it, we know I'm not talent
It's about how we handle the imbalance
How to put up with the challenge
How to form attachments and find detachment
It's like having a sister or brother from a foster home
And meeting decades later feeling still as one
A family of pain a fellowship of failure
We meet and it's a respite of love, pure and true
When you come up to me and I can see
They took it all from you, I still see the physical scars
And fracture in your eyes, there's truth in our lying
I'm careful not to get too close, fist bump from a foot away
I've never been romantic with a fan, we are intimate in our shared loss
Like I know how the panic makes you stop in place and wait
And I know being pinned on a table with your arm twisted back
I know when the adrenaline says run run run
But your eyes say gun gun
And that cold creepy where you think the bullet will enter
Spreading back through your body
I know how it feels when you wonder what you would
Worry about if all the danger were gone
I know being too young to fight them off
And too old to win without weapons
And how to never trust a friend
And what to never ever say again
We know each other and rarely speak
And I'm the luckiest guy in the world
I've got 80 million people in India and China alone
Who listen to my work, many see my intent
Others are way off, but I never get hate mail
Just confused insights from people whom I love
My fans, all from distant countries
Almost never from mine all have had my difficult time
We don't even need to speak, it's eye contact for a second
Then look away then back a second
You know me through and through
And I give you my autograph with a wince
I sign the parchment you give the band aid
And if it were a fair world I'd have saved you from the violence
You'd have met me in defiance at my attempts to vanish
Gave me a reason to hope
They can't understand, we're like old army buddies
Who never have told one another, in all honesty
I love you, whatever you go by or believe you are
I'll call you my fan, woman or man, they them or whatever you are
You are deeply loved by me, you're everything to me
Don't be ashamed at not buying my songs
You were the reason I played in the first place
You're my parent placing food on the table
I'm your brother teaching you to drive
This world is hard enough without doubting
You're the best reason I'm happy to be alive

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