Somewhere 'Round 2000

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Apoll0

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Somewhere round 2000
I was 5 and into pyro
I held that BIC in hand and kept it lit till I seen charcoal
I burnt that whole damn house down on Sharpsteen
It's crazy that the firemen sat and watched me
I mean who's to blame for the rubble, I'm the one who sparked the house up
Surprised I survived, even my brother too
Years later we playing games
Started shaking, I was seizing
Awake yet was frozen, then my nose started bleeding
When I came too
Rushed emergency
Doctor said I'm sorry but your sons epileptic
I could see the anger in their eyes cuz I knew they couldn't afford this
That look they gave still sticking but I
Think that's when it sunk in

They don't love you no more
I burn everything I touch
What's to live for
That's the question on my mind
I hear it ringing all the time
So loud you would of thought it was a choir

Couple years go by
Getting good suppressing my
Internal thoughts, emotions I used violence
All the time
Anything that I could break would get destroyed
Hoping that it might just help shut out the noise
Knew then I was fucked up and different
One of many things to make me distant
Thinking to myself do they even care to listen?
That was me till I was 17
My parents were the outlet for my trauma
Couldn't even tell you how many times I made them cry
I mean how fucked up am I
To be disrespecting mines?
All the love that they be giving
Wasn't seeing at the time
I feel fucked up in my mind
Many days I wanna cry
Other days I wanna die

Have you ever been loved so much you hate it?
Honestly
That feeling made me break
7 Years later
Momma coming down w cancer
It's stage 4 bout 2 years that she been fighting for
Now I'm reminiscing tryna right my wrongs
Feel that karmas a bitch, and these are my results
Been troubled since a kid
Always sorry for some shit
That I have done
Always blaming myself for what's become

You shouldn't love me no more
I poison all that I touch
What's to live for
That's the question on my mind
I hear it ringing all the time
So loud you would of thought it was a choir

Don't waste your time with love
Especially with me, I'm the devil boy it seems
I burn everything I touch
I'm walking kerosene, think it's best to let me be.

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