Insecurities Grow

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R. Lannom

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Why am I here?
Others think and do
But I am not like you
What is it I should be?
Cast out like a heathen
Insecurities grow
I can't let anyone know
I can't let anyone know
Then they
Would really see… me
Sit on my chest
Crush my heart
Make me confess
No!
I can't let that happen
So, I stand
Behind a rock
That forged
From my volcanic anger
Molt and lava
Which sludged
From my mouth
I stand
Out here
In the night
In the heat
Shivering inside
Smell
The rotting corpse of fear that has encrusted
My soul
My consciousness
Has froze
I know where to go
I do not dare move
So, I stand
Behind this rock
stare at this door
I do not dare matter
I will never
Open this door
One eye in the peephole the other
On my frigid soul
I refuse to let it go
On its own

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