Ready For Tomorrow

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Thomas Spurlock

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I'm never ready for the next day
Not because I don't want to be
But because out of the hundreds of opportunities in front of me
I suck at choosing which opportunity I should go after next
So to help me not waste entire days of my life in indecision about what to do next
I've begun to ask myself this question on an almost hourly basis
Out of all of the things that I want to do
Which thing will make the biggest difference to my future if I get it done right now
Even though this helps me to sort my goals by priority
The time it will take me to finish my goals is not guaranteed
On top of that new opportunities come up and the new opportunities
Become more goals to add to my lists Everyday

Looking at my goals on paper is both inspiring and overwhelming
The frustration is real because I'm so tired of trying to catch up to all the progress
I should have made by now
I learn something new everyday
And with every new thing that I learn
It seems like I'm even further behind in life than I already thought I was
The good news here is that it only took me 40 years to realize that
If I can find the common thread in my goals
Then I can use that thread to go after all my goals at the same time
As long as I know how to multitask

You have to know your limitations
If you can only handle 2 goals at a time
Don't sacrifice the quality of your work trying to squeeze in another one
The quality of the work you put into achieving your goals dictates the impact those goals Will have On the future you are hoping for

My ultimate goal is to become the person I want my children to be
And I am light-years away from Ever reaching that goal
It is only because of my children that truly reaching my goals became important to me
Until my first daughter was born my goals were vague daydreams
That other people wanted to come true more than I did
Anyone who knows me has asked me at least once
When are you going to go into a studio to record your music
Or when are you going to paint some new paintings
Honestly I never really tried to answer these questions
But I did  make excuses why I hadn't done these things
And sometimes I even lied and said I was working hard on new projects
I was trying not to look like a failure even though I felt like one
The truth was I had no clue how to do what I really wanted to do
I was scared of making a fool of myself
I totally expected whatever I tried to do to fail

That expectation of failure is what I am used to
It's like having a cloud full of doubt over your head
That follows you wherever you go
Waiting for you to be excited about something
So it can rain down negativity and wash away those positive thoughts
You could even say I've had a long time relationship with failure

If failure was a person
It's the "friend" who reminds you of all the times you fell short of your goals
Or didn't get what you wanted
Failure smiles in your face and says
You know that's not gonna work right
Failure is not asking a question as much as it is trying
To discourage you from ever trying to really Live your life
My relationship with failure goes way back.
Like grade school back

Even with all the things I can say I did do as a kid
There are so many other things that I wanted to do but never even tried
At times there were things I wanted to say to people
But fear of failure and rejection kept my courage to a minimum
And I kept my mouth closed
I think it's safe to say we've all heard that
Closed mouths don't get fed
The older I get the more I understand what this really means

Earlier in my twenties
I tried to become a recording artist and recorded an album of music
My partner producer Paul and I worked 50/50 on a 10 song album that we called
Inside a Man
Paul produced 10 tracks and I wrote 10 songs
Paul recorded me singing all the vocals
We spent at least a year meeting in his apartment studio trying different ideas
Paul is a classically trained pianist
Who is as close to hip hop as he is to the blood in his veins
I am an old school rap and r&b junkie who likes his music emotional and gutter
Like the blues and rock & roll
Our goal was to make the most diverse group of songs anyone around us had ever heard

When we finished recording everything,
We tried to make the songs sound professional using our limited understanding of mixing
We didn't have money to get professional help
We turned this part of the song up
We turned that part of the song down
We put this part on the left side
And we put that part on the ride side
I insisted on maxing out the treble on every track so everything would sound clear
This is a huge mistake by the way
Real sound engineers know exactly what I am talking about right now so you know how Horrible of a mix job this must have been

We took what little money we did have and paid for a mastering session on 10 songs
That lasted Less than an hour
Again I can hear sound engineers out there laughing at how bad this all sounds
We also got the album copyrighted
We connected with other musicians and independent artists and started a band
I just knew that because of all the work we had done
And all the time we had put into this album
That we would blow up and the record would be successful

The songs were nice and everyone we knew said
All 10 of these songs are hits
So it was that much more disappointing
When we only sold a handful out of the 100 CDs we had pressed
They were bought by friends and family at a few small shows
We put together here in Memphis TN

We had a lot of fun creating and dreaming
We learned a lot from the work we did
And I would never trade any of the experience of it all
We just didn't reach the goals we were hoping for

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