Time Machine

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TurtleFrogMan

TurtleFrogMan is a musical artist known for their unique blend of electronic, hip-hop, and experimental sounds. They create intricate beats and catchy melodies, often incorporating eclectic samples and unconventional production techniques. With their boundary-pushing approach to music, TurtleFrogMan strives to create a truly immersive and original listening experience. more »

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I had a friend whose mechanical aptitude was nothing short of sublime
And when it comes to the physical sciences, he was quite thoroughly versed
Over drinks he informed me he'd built a device 
That could transport a person through time
And he asked if I'd help him to test his invention by taking the risk to be first

And of course, I agreed, I mean who wouldn't jump at the chance to revisit the past
To travel through time like explorers in history, way off the beaten path, way off
Think of it, you could buy bitcoins for pennies, return with a fortune amassed
Or you could save 6 million jews from the ovens by killing an infant named Adolph

I got in the vehicle, strapped on a helmet and made sure that my seat belt was snug
It smoked and it whirred and it made lots of noises and spun like a carnival ride
My friend warned me he couldn't gauge where'd I'd travel to due to a programming bug
It crashed to the ground and I started inspecting myself to ensure I'd not died

I opened the hatch and was greeted by hundreds of savages, scantily clad
It was clearly apparent that one was the leader, I offered my hand, "how are you sir?"
They raised up their spears in defense of their leader 
Who asked "are you a god, good or bad?"
I said "i am no god and I mean you no harm, I am a man from the future"

At first they seemed welcoming, happy to have me, they asked of the future enthused
I told them we sit on a seat we call toilet, it carries our waste through a pipe
That flows to a waste water treatment facility where it is cleaned and reused
And rather than leaves we have rolls of soft paper 
We use when we're done and we wipe

I told them that we live in houses and don't sweat in summer nor in winter shiver
Our heat and light come from electrons, these particles floating that none of us see
But they thought me a god making promises to them that now I would have to deliver
And just then, their leader arose and was forcefully speaking directly to me:

"We want the things you describe, you're a god
There's a way you can give us these isn't there?"
I apologized to him, "I don't have the knowledge 
I'd need to build these things for you"
But this explanation was not satisfactory, I was then taken as prisoner
You will build us these lights and these toilets you speak of
We will keep you here until you do

But I can't invent electricity even a toilet to me seems complex
How does the poo and pee move through the pipe for great distances
Miles and miles?
Instead of learning such things 
I spent all of my free time in bars hunting drunk girls for sex
I'm just a monkey who pushes down buttons
Flips switches, swipes right and turns dials

So, If you're given the chance to learn how the world works I suggest you perhaps do
Don't be like me and expend all your free time in drinking and other tomfoolery
I don't know their customs, I don't hunt or fish, I'm a prisoner now they throw scraps to
They've taken apart my time travel machine and wear some of the parts like it's jewelry

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