Self-Confidence

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Jack Dawkins

Jack Dawkins, better known as the Artful Dodger, is a character in Charles Dickens's 1838 novel Oliver Twist. The Dodger is a pickpocket, so called for his skill and cunning in that occupation. He is the leader of the gang of child criminals on the streets of London, trained by the elderly Fagin. The term has become an idiom describing a person with skilful deception. more »

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Born confident, but lacking self-belief
I can smash tasks, but still feelin' meek
Gotta lot to say, my throat chokes when I speak
Can't manifest my destiny if affirmation's what I seek
No more trophies, praise, accolades
All my nerves are frayed, in my heart, I still feel afraid
Fear of never mattering, amounting to too little
Panicked inner voices saying Jack - you too brittle
I can do it, but am I deserving?
Failure equals death so the work is always swerving
Chasing certainty nobody guaranteed
Finished seven marathons but this shit has me on my knees
Maybe lack of gratitude, victim to these idle hands
How can I inspire others with saliva glands?
Not for lack of trying I gotta writer's cramp
No sense in this mess, I need a diagram
Try to stay calm when weather's inclement
Inner turmoil boils and I feel impotent
Creeping slowly into darkness, madness by the increment
Fear is plucking every nerve like it was an instrument
Evolving stalled feels like I can't adapt
The room is spinning, dizzy, woozy like I might collapse
Anxiety is radiating I feel the panic
Frenetic, frenzied, frazzled, fearful, and so fucking frantic
Stress pressure on my chest starts feeling massive
Take a crack at action, end up sitting listless, passive
Trapped by self-loathing, like I'm imprisoned captive
Self-induced paralysis and the onset's rapid
Mesmerized by my tattoos cuz I watch me bleed
Don't know where I'm going or what the f*ck I need
I'm conscious of my conscience, haunted by the things I see
Someone shake me - wake me up from this wicked dream

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