nauseous/problem

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DOKISAKA

3:40

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I hate myself
I hate the way I think
Restless nights I need to go to sleep
Mind is wide awake
Can't control my thoughts
Losing sense of time
Losing my mind
Is this just by design
God
Why would you do this
Make your creation feel so worthless
If you live in my image then I'm fucking clueless
cause
I hate my body
I can't eat
Staring at this plate
It's looking back at me
This isn't what I want
It's not what I need
It's saying things
I should get a drink
I look in the mirror and I find my flaws
Try to ignore them but I hear them call
I wanna rip them all off my face
Rearrange my eyes to see a different place
If you were still here then what would you say
Seeing your grandson in this kind of state
It's getting worse and it's never better
If I get any closer I'll pull this fucking trigger (Yuh)
Pull the trigger let my brain splatter
On these newly painted walls
Newly founded halls
Church bells ring
Hear the choir sing
A beautiful image made for my sinning
They carry me in and my family crying
It's not your fault it's always been about myself
f*ck everyone else
I don't care about nobody else (Ugh)
I'm my own enemy
Own centerpiece
Can't tell if I hate me
I love Ethan G
Sometimes I wish I was someone else
Sometimes I think I'm my perfect self
Everyone telling I still gotta grow
Then why does it feel like I'm at the end of the road
At the end of the road

I think I
I got a problem
I feel like I'm boutta vomit
Already fucking smoking haven't even ate I'm feeling nauseous
I don't know what to do
I'm mid hit and my mom's walking into my room
I freeze up
Smokes coming out my mouth
She walks in and ask's what the f*ck is this about
I stare
I don't got nothing to say
The look of disappointment is settling in her gaze
I say I could explain
But she doesn't wanna hear it
She say's I'm tired of this bullshit Ethan
I'm sorry
That's my favorite phrase
At this point I think it's all about I fucking say

I gotta problem, problem, problem
I gotta problem, problem, problem
I gotta problem, problem, problem
I gotta problem

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