InnerChild

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Dylan Gitalis

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I told my child to come out
"It's okay. I'm watching you."
He did and saw the lights
We got to ponder on the view

I said "Come out, stay here, don't go away."
We spread our arms and felt peace
And felt free

He's been scared all week
Abandoned by his mother
Wet and cold by the dumpster
Like a lost dog's shudder

He soon digressed
But I wish he stayed out longer
He could see the world with me
And experience the wonder

He fears the future
Just like his father
Doesn't know if he'll be loved or held
Or if there's a tomorrow

I tell him I'm there for him but it's never enough
My palpable words barely flinch his pain 'cause I need proof
That I'm worth something

I'm not enough for myself
But I'll try to be good
I'm insecure
I'm unsure
The devil inside convinces me I'm alone
And I feel alone

I'm gonna dance with you
Protest
Play, sing, and cry
With or without you
It's 'cus I fuckin want to
I'm worth something
Some people see
I'll prove to the ones who don't
The gloriness of me

My child retreats behind his foggy glass
Coming out once a month to say
Dad i'm fucking here
Then i tell him it's okay
And then every part of me is present
Each step, each breath taken by him and I
I am nowhere else but there
But, yknow, any other time
Only half of me is there
The other's in my stomach
Can't force him out he'll get hurt again
So he hides from the world thinking it's a place of pain
Shivering and cold
In the warmth of my tissue
Letting his brief life go

I'm not enough for myself
But I'll try to be good.
I'm insecure
I'm unsure
The devil inside convinces me I'm alone
And I feel alone.

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