the weight of this life

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Manuela

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I want to be hot and not valued just for my face
And cared for when my body is invited to your place
I wanna scream, I wanna shout when I'm not wrong
Only to have you tell me I'm coming on too strong
I should be able to cry when I feel the weight of this life
And know that my self-love doesn't change
Do a little something nice every once in a while
Without feeling like your smart house or your maid
I want to be kind without shrinking my opinions
And be funny knowing it's not just my coping mechanism
I am not bigger, I am not better than anyone else
However, not so little I'd belong to anyone but myself
I go on and on and on and on and on and on and on
You wouldn't know what I'm on and on and on and on and on
I know that I am smart, I simply hold my tongue each day
Unless I'm asked a question or I have something to say
I'll assume that I'm unwelcome or my thoughts will be shut down
By a bitter unchecked ego or a bigot small dick clown
I feel threatened by how threatened people feel when I speak up
So I've learned through trial and error that it's safer to shut up
But I want to never self-destruct because it feels good to be sober
And to know so much love that I can't help but to spill over
I go on and on and on and on and on and on and on
You wouldn't know what I'm on and on and on and on and on
When I start to crumble under pressure that I never applied
It's a reset, it's a reboot, it's an upward spiral
I don't have to bring you down to feel like you're right next to me
I can lift myself and be my own best company
And if you ever judged a fish by its ability to climb
Or a woman by the wildness she keeps buried deep inside
You know that you're the type to watch someone fall down and then you'd kick 'em
And I know I can't be victor if I'm always playing victim
I go on and on and on and on and on and on and on
You wouldn't know what I'm on and on and on

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