The Cryptozoologist

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Rexedog

5:16

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I am the one looking for those who are hiding
Crossing my fingers for one special sighting
Camouflage my entourage of gadgets and goggles
Send passenger pigeons to deliver my novels

Gotta find a red leopard spotted pure albino giraffe
Gotta find an armadillo with razor spikes on it's back
I find evidence that these species do exist
I am the world famous cryptozoologist

Spelunking subsurface, scaling the crests
Scouring the innards of fantastic forests
Swing through the trees while I'm drenched in the jungle
Dive way down deep and creep through the corals

Gotta find a flying dodo with a studdering stammer and a bowed beak
Gotta find a square migrating 1954 Thunderbird
I find evidence that these species do exist
I am the world famous cryptozoologist

All some people really wanna know is-
What is a cryptozoologist

Have you ever skinny dipped with a chupacabra
Kissed the lips of a velociraptor
Stole third base with an anaconda
Crucify the ego monster!

Have you ever seen sports with a space invader
Shared a vampire with an elevator
Trade charmander for uncle fester
Felt the whip of christ your master?

One time in Scotland I wrestled the loch ness
They asked me how I beached him with just my bare hands
I said I am the cryptozoologist
Afterwords I set him free and headed to Germany
It was there in the mountains I found my first unicorn
I named him electric warrior
We went to Canada and sighted the Sasquatch
He said you're the cryptozoologist
I said damn right made him lunch and went for a swim
I painted his portrait on the side of a mountain
I signed it The Cryptozoologist
Subtitled: A fair warning to all you cryptids
I WILL FIND YOU
I'LL FIND YOU

We kept in touch whenever I would stop through the States
He helped me find the Jersey Devil and tattoo on his bicep
I am the cryptozoologist
One winter we went to Tibet and met the Yeti
Who I coerced to give samples of his DNA
Turns out he was the missing link
I won the Nobel prize and used the money to build a nice hotel
He said 'Thank you cryptozoologist'
Sneakin' and spyin' and provin' that they're alive
I dare a crazy cryptid by the perfect place to hide
I am the cryptozoologist
But then one conscious thought appeared in my head
I AM DREAMING

I am the cryptozoologist
I am the cryptozoologist
I find evidence that these species do exist
I am the world famous cryptozoologist

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