I'm Gonna Kill Myself

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There isn't a single day that I enjoy anymore
I'm in a battle with addiction and pain, I can't wait anymore
Or wade in the water while the leeches bite my core, I'm a whore
I admit it, I climb into people's DMs at night looking for attention
And is that so wrong
Inspired by a girl who neglected that shit so long
Were those feelings unintended
Not for me but I believe
I wasn't made to breathe
I was made to stop
And teach the children a lesson
About how you should live for today and not for the bedroom
For flowers and shit, my powers ain't shit
It's taking a piss on my fucking grave that I'm forced to dig
Stuck in the fridge, man I'm still a kid
With an overexcited dick, never been licked
I just want someone to show me that type of affection
And cuddle me some time and slowly subside my lung infection
Where's my happy ending
Where's my happy ending
Where's my happy ending
Where's my happy ending
And then I fall back and hold the breath I wasn't made to take or deserved
And then I hear my back break on the pavement outside my college dorm room
Didn't wanna warn you but I did, this stupid kid gave himself away
And started stabbing his own ribs with a fork glazed in heartache and cake
That his mama made on his second birthday
Smashed it on my face like my clenched fists of rage when I was eight
And the counselor couldn't take the rage away
And look how time progresses as I'm falling down, I wonder if someone guessed it
The reason why I'm dying is because no one ever professes
Physical love, the drug of a creep apparently
I had to leave to outrace the misery of being a human being instead of being me
Suicidal bumblebee who hath fallen into the sea
Of car wreck tragedies and bombings on the TV
But I was just 18, why did it have to be me
Why did it have to be me, man

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