Undo Diligence

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The Boney Rolls

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If the fire burns bright
Then the ashes that are left behind
Do little more than disguise and belie
That it was ever what it was
If every memory collects
Just to dwell upon in retrospect
Might it seem to total something less
Something less than what it does?

I think you know me well
I know you think I'm well beyond my means
It's time to consider contingencies
Before I execute a plan
I'll take a change of pace
If it's a better place to spend my days
This goal is attainable in many ways
In time I think you will understand

What a day, all the same
In the end all we gained
Was something next to nothing
It's ok because we made memories
Come what may
It may be more important
Gonna take every chance I can...
Don't want to trade
These things for something else

If the sky appears black
Does it mean that there is nothing left?
All the stars retreated somewhere else
Just to shine on something new
If the thunder cracks
And the lightning blinds
Every crashing wave
Until the ship is capsized
If I lost it all...
Could I still hold on to you?

Like a product
That's a sum of observations
We can build
Upon each other's fabrications
Honestly
It's a different dishonesty
There's a truth that lies
Within each next deception
Evidence sprinkled
By colors of perception

I'm getting stuck in the urgency
But it's not really reality
It's the conceptions we build to be
I will remember this time...
In these moments of lucidity
It's like a wave washing over me
Still they prove to be too fleeting

Circumstances seem
To define the direction
Situations tend
To form the same reaction
Honestly, it's a different dishonesty
Weaving through a crowd
But making no connection
Altering the self
To pursue false perfection

I'll try to remember this time

It's reasonable
That this would end someday
To wind it down
It just makes sense...
But then again
In fantasies
I dreamed it could continue indefinitely
But that's a delusion
It's time to accept reality

This act has drawn to a close
A term unopposed
A cycle of self provision
Obscene, stained crimson and green
It's magnificent
Yeah, now come to your senses

Please sound the bell, let's meditate
On these events
We'll seek counsel, and pontificate
A message sent
In dreams I seemed
To somehow be the hero, despite evidence
We rolled the dice and laid our claim
We chose this path

The warmth is retreating
It's freezing
I'm left in the cold
If you seek admission
Then I've learned my lesson

I remember the way
You wrapped me up tight
A little too tight, I'd say
Just let me unwind
The heat that you'd bring
Well, that soon got old
In search of better things
Left out in the cold

It's cold

A tempest, alluring
Obscuring the comforts of home
If this is a lesson
It feels like regression
If that's the intention, prevention
No wonder it's cold
The warmth you could provide
But I'm stuck here outside

It feels like today
Might just shine on me
Some gesture you'd make
Some warm sympathy
The heat we'd create
Would soon make you forget
Everything from before...
But it hasn't happened yet

Is this all I am?
Is this all I'll ever be?
With a start and an end...
My little piece of eternity

I can feed the flame
Take comfort in the warmth it brings
Seek fuel to maintain
I see the ash is gathering
It doesn't feel the same
Doesn't fill with wonder like before
Help me feed the flame
This pile won't burn much more

Ashes, Ashes
Soon the fire collapses
How?  you want more?
Ashes, Ashes
Who fulfills your last wish now?
You want one more?

Is this all I am?
Is this all I can be?
Some collection of molecules
A fragment of chemistry

And if so, is that so bad?
It kind of feels like we're being had
Heaven waits but the journey is rough
Just being born isn't good enough?

Take the stand and assume position
Then form decision
Of what can be revealed
There's so much more
Than what's on the surface
But it's obscured here...
Not to be seen

No witness is within
The province of vision
To know that it's not a need
Is part of the remedy
No praise or confession
No scorn or affirmation
Imperfect purity
Is part of the remedy

A tree that toppled out in the forest
Nobody noticed
No witness verified
It doesn't mean that it didn't happen
If no one's there to praise or criticize
Actions perceived to be less important
A poor performance, gone unrecognized
A recipe for misguided motives
Of self promotion
Now testify!

All tied up
From the bottom to the top
The constant assaults
On the senses don't stop
An effort supreme
It seems to maintain
A body unbound
It's the mind that's in chains

Go drifting by another day
It smeared the sky
Like distant rain
A notch in time, a photograph
Silence the cry
And try to laugh

The subject is debatable
When comfort lacks, relatable
Proceed forward
Try to maintain
Even kind words
Can feel like chains

It ended like most things begin
A subtle hint, a reaction
The tape rewinds through thick and thin
A pile of ash reignites again

It's tightening where once was frayed
Patterns appear
Pictures emerging from the fade
Becoming clear
The echoes bounce before it's ever said
To run it's course
Devoted to the end instead...
Instead of the source

To claim your prize
I'll place my bet
It's best to wait...
Hasn't started yet
It falls apart from the outset
The surest thing
Seen in retrospect

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