PeggaSues (Ilana Glazer)

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(Iesous Kurios Iesous Kurios Iesous kurios) 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
Just leveled up, Ilana! 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
Just leveled up, Ilana! 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
Just leveled up, Ilana! 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
Just leveled up 
A man's just a man right? 
We can all agree that he can't fight urges in his pants when he pass by leggings 
Or any woman that wearing any clothing that's 
Clinging to the contours of her most wonderful place on earth, birth, jerk, twerk… 
And that's everything you're worth 
Where you going so fast? 
Why you looking so mad with a face like that? 
And a waist like that, you're too beautiful to frown 
I'ma follow you around 
Somebody can't take a compliment 
Honestly, I'm not tryna bother you 
I'm just tryna honor and I'm calling “it” more than it is 
Cause I am and it is 
Pastor says that a woman's not a man she's a rib with a womb 
Not a whom, you're a what 
Bend it over lift it up, let me see 
God only made you so He could bless me with a peak and a seed and miscellaneous things that I need and if you disagree, like if you really disagree… 
(Please say you disagree) 
Tell me that 
Your princess is in another castle, bro 
Sorry, Mario, 
But you can keep on looking 
Your princess is in another castle, bro 
No means no, don't means don't 
Chuh, get it, chuh, Carter 
Let me tell you bout Ilana Glazer… 
First and foremost, I'm a total fan 
She's also a crush that I want so much that I blush just thinking of holding hands 
Yup, I got it bad 
But I ain't tryna make her mine 
And I ain't tryna waste her time 
But I am bout to take her line: 
“I'm gettin’ big balls of mozzarella today” 
Broad City’s just smarter and prettier and funnier and wittier than me 
+1 to ENVY and JEALOUSY 
Generally, Jewish chicks are out of my league 
Not one’s ever spared me a glance, never given me a chance 
I'd be up the wrong tree, Ilana! 
And I respect that, learned to expect that 
Try to accept that she doesn't need me staring at her cracks and her crevices 
But I'll still steal if she's negligent 
Monitor her pants and her back when she's bending it 
Please, forgive me, I'm more perverted than I seem 
And I'm most perverted in my dreams 
But they rarely burden her 
I'm fairly certain your 
Princess is in another castle, bro 
Sorry Mario 
But you can keep on looking 
Your princess is in another castle, bro 
No means no, don't means don't 
Chuh, get it, chuh, Carter 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, she just leveled up, we 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, I just leveled up like 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, we just leveled she 
Just leveled up like yup, Ilana! 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, she just leveled up, we 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, I just leveled up like 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up like yup, Ilana! 
Just leveled up, Glazer 
And she just doesn't need a, doesn't need a prince 
And that's it. 
But you're a dick and you wanna get it in 
I get it 
You wanna get your rocks off in her box then keep rocking till you get soft while you're still in it 
I'm with it 
But she has to be that too 
And she isn't 
She doesn't need to hear your opinion of her face and her waist and her legs just walking past you 
That's rude 
And the snakes should repent of their ways 
Or prepare to partake in the judgment, 
Placed with the goats in the lake of destruction 
With satan and Angels who tasted corruption 
To drink of the cup of the full strength wrath of the ancient of days 
wait, what was I saying? blazes of flames?
Oh yeah, let's get money off of your stuff 
Let ‘em look, let ‘em lust, let ‘em bust 
Let's get money off of your stuff 
Just let ‘em look, let ‘em lust, let ‘em bust 
Let's get money off of your stuff 
I don't know why you do, but you does 
Now dance while I wrap this up 
Let's give high school kids something that can jack off to 
Cause Lord knows high school kids have a lack of things to jack off to 
It's my responsibility to make sure my grandkids still have things that they can jack off to 
And that's you, that's you, that's you 
I mean, what else could you… do? 
That's you, that's you, thank you 
I mean, what else could you..? 
But leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, like just leveled up, I 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up like yup, ILANA! 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, she just leveled up, we 
Just leveled up like yup, yas kween 
Just leveled up, we just leveled up, see 
There is no Jew nor Greek, 
No slave nor free, 
There's no male, no female, no matrimony 
No one's given in marriage 
Our cares over there will be far from here 
Can't we all just sing songs right here? 
Can't we all just sing songs for a moment?

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